Thanks for the lesson on dissolving negative feelings. I have / had a lot of stress around courage, bravery and other responses to negative feelings. I have been using the Lefkoe Belief Dissolving Method that you gave in your TED talk and what I learnt in LMT1 and LMT2 to dissolve my own negative feelings. Thank you for the greater peace that has resulted from that. I wish you continuing peace in your life and when dealing with otherwise challenging health issues.
thinking about going out for a walk with a friend today .I’m putting off making contact. my tummy hurts and I’m anxious. I’m not keeping my word that we would try and go out 3 times a week . feeling like a failure. and like I don’t keep my word. The reality is I don’t want to do the laundry and go pay a bill and i’m punishing myself by not going on a walk by feeling bad. What a loop of disaster. THe surprising thought is I hate to write on computer and yet here I am . Maybe I really do want to feel good. . Is that right?
I sent an email to my daughter that included something I thought might be upsetting to her. She has not replied for six days. I have made up the meaning that she is angry with me which is why she has not replied to the email or called me. I have vascilated between being hurt and then even angry (defending myself in my head). When I give up the meaning I realize the content of the email mostly supportive and loving and she often doesn’t respond to an email or call because she is a very busy young married mother (with a 3 yr. old) who is in a Ph.D. program (the events). I have been creating stories in my head (again) because I was worried about one thing I wrote out of many (meaning). Sigh of relief! I’m going to write the steps out on a sheet of paper in big letters. Thanks again Morty.
I sent an email to my daughter which included something I was slightly concerned might upset her. I haven’t received a reply or a phone call for six days. I have felt hurt, even angry, and had some dramatic stories in my head. I have convinced myself that she is upset. I now realize that is the meaning I have given her lack of response. Since most of my message was loving and supportive and she often does not answer my emails because she is a young married mother in a Ph.D program, I have given a negative meaning to the event (not hearing from her). Sigh of relief! There I go (went), making up negative stories again.
I attended a workshop at work today. I was enjoying it and feeling pretty at ease even though I’m not a ‘morning person’.
Then, seems like out of nowhere I began to feel self conscious. I noticed that the person next to me seemed uncomfortable. I started examining myself, trying to figure out what it was about me that was causing her reaction. I concluded I must have morning breath or BO that I couldn’t smell but she did. LOL It sounds funny to me now but at the time it felt real and I became very anxious about it and uncomfortable myself. I even came home still feeling bad about it, even though I never received confirmation that she was actually uncomfortable, that it was because of me or that I smelled.
Using this method, I can see the negative response I was having to the situation.
The meaning: I’m not (clean) good enough, I’m being rejected
Now I can see that in reality I was looking at this person and she appeared uncomfortable. She was leaning away from me. She had her hand up to her nose. She could’ve been doing this for any reason. I made it about me and gave it a negative meaning which produced a negative feeling.
I do feel much more content when I do this process. However, I am removed from the situation at the moment. I will try this again at the next meeting. I guess groups or being physically close to others triggers this reaction in me. I’m going through some career changes right now and I really want to get a handle on this before I move on to my next job.
P.S
Is it normal for this to occur even after I’ve completed the natural confidence program? Or did I not properly eliminate a belief or 2?
Hi, Thanks. When I started to watch the video I felt life stress, but in reality after undestranding your concepts and did the exsercise I understood that the game was on me. And that I have the hability to change my ocurrences I felt liberated and my muscles started to relax,
Thanks
I did the exercise with an incident – letter written about a project of mine- which made me angry at the person and I disliked her. After going through the process I began to realise that the fact of writing a letter and the meaning i gave to it where two different things and while I cannot change the fact- a letter was written- I have all the power to change and choose the meaning of it. Thai liberated me and dissolved my feelings I had for this colleague.
watching the video it occured to me that often if someone is in a bad mood i tend to blame myself. thinking i did something wrong and was the cause of the mood. in reality the person is just in a bad mood and it is nohing to do with me.
Dear Morty, in fact, this doesn´t work for me, I love and appreciate your efforts, actually in don´t work is not so easy, please help me to be free from
limiting beliefs-I AM NOPT ENOUGH
FEAR OF REJECETION and failure, thanks, jOao
dear Morty, in fact this didn´t work for me, I continue with my NEGATIVE FEELINGS, LIMITING BELIEFS, AND ASKING FOR A SOLUTION TO MY
FEARS-REJECTION-FAILURE
LIMITING BELIEFS -I AM NOT ENOUGH-MISTAKE AND FAILURE ARE BAD
I have been experiencing stress because of not being able to find a job. There are many opportunities in my field, and recruiters tell me how amazing my experience and CV are, plus my interview technique is good (so i am told). Yet, no job. The meaning i attach to it is failure. Another problem is my girlfriend who now lives in another country and we want to be together. However, she feels the longer we are apart means that the relationship must end, because if we were meant to be together, something great should happen.
Having used your technique, the anxiety has reduced… now i need to find a way of securing that job!
I am so grateful that you post people’s comments on this site. It is truly amazing how we are all have so much to offer and yet are so afraid. We are all in the same boat! Just don’t realize it. I don’t know how I came across your work and that is unusual for me as I can remember lots of details, and big on connections, but so grateful I did. My life is truly changing and seeing all these posts reminds me of how much we all need to be valued and appreciated. Most of the fears people write in about are so similar. It is great to know that you are not alone and that we can live in Freedom from our beliefs.
Thank you so much for posting the comments people leave here. Wow, we all so many of the same fears. And you can tell there are so many people who have so much to give, but we are limited by our beliefs so much. I don’t even know how I found out about you and your programs, but am so grateful that I did. I cannot wait until the next video!
These steps to separate what is actually happening from how we feel about what we sense should be required teaching for everyone. Only by resolving the negative attitudes and prejudices we have learned through a life of experience can we deal with Now from a position of acceptance. Of course, there are times we must extract ourselves from a situation with harmful people. Also, there are those unfortunate masochists and sadists (more folks than would like to admit it) that focus on the desire to squeeze vicarious emotions from most every happening. This is what we were taught as youngsters–some people prefer to jump in the pile of manure and roll around like a dog rather than walking around it.
This process appears to complement well the Lefkoe recreate your life method. I participated in a stressful meeting at work earlier this week (before this program was announced) during which time the executive–dissatisfied with the progress of a project and not accurately understanding the the circumstances–put some of us on the spot. The meeting became confrontational when we attempted to explain these circumstances in the face of his oversimplifications. I felt a bit flustered and inadequate and was unable to completely describe my knowledge amid the barrage of questions. In retrospect, I was interpreting the event as a reflection of a failing of mine, like it was a personal attack on my abilitiles. I can see, however, that this was an occuring and that the executive was merely trying to inspire the team to develop goals and a plan that would overcome our existing challenges and move the project forward. I realize that I frequently internalize these types of “occurings” every day but this has me wondering if my interpretation of reality is valid. I’d be very open to learning more.
Thank you I will try this with my husband when he watches movies that knock me out of my happy state. Last night I felt extreemly blissful looking out at the view of the bay, a full moon started to appear and I was about to eat my delicious dinner. Then I heard a scream from the tv of a man being whipped and people were counting. It was a film about the old days and at the end of the movie everyone was shot. I tried not to listen to the stuff and I tried to tell my husband how his shows distress me. He looked at me like I was insane and said, “It’s only a movie.” How can I stay in my blissful vibe even when “what is” isn’t what I love? Thank you for your help.
Hi morty.
Ive been using some of your techniques for months now with some success. It has helped me in social and work situations, especially approach anxiety. This stuff really does work.
One thing that still bothers me is my thoughts on a relationship break up 10 months ago. My mind repeats the fight that started the break up over and over. I constantly get dreams of seeing her in the future. sometimes we fight, sometimes we get along fine, sometimes im fine with it like we wernt suited and other times i cant be happy without her. I have learned alot from it, especially in regards to needy behaviour at the time, low self esteem and im greatfull to be aware of certains behaviours that i can work on to grow but after ten months apart i would hope that negative disturbing dreams i have about her and her new partner should be dissapating by now. I feel like i have dealt with it. I dont blame her for everything, we both made mistakes. I do believe there is someone better out there for me, i have answered any what if questions that come up in regard to this topic and they work but then keep coming back. Ive had therapy for this, cbt and minfulness techniques. I have been with other women also but nothing seems to stop my mind from thinking about her.I answer any questions my mind has on this using cbt and your techniqe and it does work as i get some calm and see it as an irrational thought, but my mind just throws up more. Sometimes its just daydream stuff without any clear question. What can i do to get my mind to stop thinking about her.
Thank you Morty ,do you know when I practiced this technique I felt a lightness in me ,I laughed at the whole event! It was so liberating in that my whole body relaxed and I realised how we take ourselves so seriously
I fear to finally decide what my purpose in life is and what career path to follow and, on top of that, I find myself thousand of reasons not to succeed… I feel overwhelmed with that and I cannot find the strength to face all the obstacles I THINK I have to face such as: lack of money , need of emotional and psychological support, meeting all the conditions needed.
As I logically go through the steps suggested by you , I do believe that these negative believes vanish- for a limited amount of time. I also realize that I need constant reinforcement to cut the cord to my negatives beliefs and self sabotaging, as I go further in the process of actually taking the necessary steps to get closer to what I have decided to pursuit.
I wish I could have the knowledge to decide what I’m made for and to follow my purpose in life!
So the one thing that is causing major stress in my life right now is my money situation (something that’s been ongoing for years). So the “event” is: x amount of money in my bank account and bills due that add up to 3 times that amount. The meaning I’ve given that is that I’m a failure (and the feelings have been overwhelm, stress, desperation, unable to think clearly). The other meaning I realized I was creating was “not enough money”. Yet, just defining this as an “event” helped me to see that “not enough money” is just a judgment — that the reality is “this much money” in the account and “this much money” due for bills. It allowed me to separate myself from the event — I’d been actually identifying with this event, as if it *was* me! Because, obviously (in my previous way of interpreting it), if there “isn’t enough money” then “I’m a failure”. Now, I am feeling my whole system calm down and I’m realizing that it’s just numbers. And I can now take the perspective of: “what am I going to do about that” from a place of calm, rather than feeling panicked and overwhelmed. WOW. So simple, yet such a big shift. Thank you. 🙂
As I’m sitting here this morning, I’ve gotten myself upset that my girlfriend, who is traveling abroad at the moment, is not responding to my emails quickly enough. My response is that I think she’s annoyed with me, which makes me feel sad and lonely.
I have realized that this is an emotional response to this event.
The meaning I have assigned to it is that she is annoyed with me.
Her not emailing me back quickly enough could be due to many many factors. It is NOT intrinsically linked with her being annoyed. It could be any number of reasons. It could mean anything, or nothing. Any number of reasons are just as valid.
I have honestly begun to feel better already. I LOVE this process, Morty! Thank you so much for laying it out so clearly!
This is a very good video.
It is so awesome that you assist us in making these distinctions.
All too often our occurings are conflated with reality, and watching these videos is giving me glimpses into how this is happening and how i can stop it.
Thank you so much, and i can’t wait for the next video!
All the best,
Wow. I am quite excited to go further into Lefkoe knowledge.
The program has worked for me bc, whenever I need to, I pause and really ponder on your words. it has taken me 30 plus minutes to bust one belief. Oh, and I’m liking this OC. When it comes to some people close to me, I still get defensive/angry. I look forward to the calm using the technic I just learned above. I want to feel “free,” even as I bike though NYC traffic.
Your teaching method is easy to follow. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. I will continue using the method of seeing reality as it is vs. my own interpretation of reality.
I have found your principles sound and effective. I am a retired person nearing my 80th birthday
so I can only participate in the free things you are offering and I find them all very helpful.
Thank you for generously sharing these insights with us free of charge. Many things are not
new to me at this stage of my life as I have been a teacher, counselor, spiritual director my entire
life in addition to being a musician. Your insights bring together many of the learning aspects of my life which have helped to keep me on the path of self-reflection for greater authenticity in my
retirement years. Blessings in your ongoing ventures. Gratefully,
Hello!
I have yet to watch the video and I did not know where to ask this question so I am posting it here, but I am curious about the content of Occuring. I know that it can change the way we think because we are able to distinguish between what reality is and what meanings we put on it by ourselves.
I have a bit of a problem with myself. I have been watching a music show recently and I realized I was doing what I hated to see people do on youtube, etc. I was judging people by their energy, how they look and decide “these guys are boring, I want to skip this song”. Sometimes the urge is so strong that I do skip the song and then feel regret and I feel like I am very hateful, prejudiced and impatient.
In the past, when I shared my interests with people and some of them would react with, “eww, who would ever do that!? are you crazy. even if someone killed me I wouldn’t do that.” and even though I am a bit over that already with your videos’ help, -I know I have no reason to be affected by those words- I still remember how it stings and I still have feelings of… sympathy(?) for these people that I keep judging without knowing about them anything. I feel really bad about this. Here I am trying to change the way I think. So do you think is there a way to eliminate these kinds of thoughts as well (maybe with Occuring?)
PS: ((I think it is mostly because of my values maybe that I cannot keep those thoughts (feeling hurt) from before. I feel it as “very wrong” in my head, still. I may not feel like it hurts, may be detached, but like I said, I still find it “hateful, prejudiced and impatient”. Dunno if it is because I am not over these yet, but the thing matters is they harbor those feelings- the feelings don’t need to have specific names- and I still have them, too.))
This is wonderful! I intuit it requires a level of willingness within the individual in order to be effective. Also I connect the steps with a similar yet spiritual process described in Healing and Recovery by Dr David R Hawkins. One difference being, a true spiritual process would never connect the ego’s thoughts and emotions to the word “reality”. For me the best and simplest action is to cancel my thoughts (before I have a chance to connect meaning or emotion) and unless I have requested them (usually for purposes of discernment). It helps to realize your thoughts aren’t who you are anyways.
Most people are addicted to thinking. Most thinking is negatively charged. The process of thinking really is like an addiction.
I am inspired by the courage it takes to step into any solution (such as Morty’s). Just remember what an addict goes through to cease his need for his “drug”. Be kind to yourselves and whenever you get impatient or frustrated find something to be grateful for (this always works).
first of all- you never answer my coments.I am serious here, and I need real help.I don´t agree you and I am afraid to pay you and don´t get results is too expensive your course.I have been following for many many time and don´t get results so far, you talk, write and try to show things so so easy, in fact it is not, and i keep my mind fears and limiting beliefs, with a despair sensations of no hope.Please Morty, take my situation as a challenge to you, help me don´t ask for money, let me be free first of my fears(rejection, failure, judgments) limiting beliefs as i am not enough, mistake and failure are bad, please let me free let me pat you with my testimony, help me plaes.
A part of me feels like I should let M. Lefkoe answer this… But, well, I’ve always been one to say my thoughts. After doing the Natural Confidence Program, all the common limiting beliefs that had gripped me these past few years, have dissolved. I thank Morty much for this gift. (Mind you, I still have some deeper limiting beliefs that I am aiming to deal with, and I am confident that I will.)
I will be blunt, and sorry if it hurts, but I hope you take it as a challenge to yourself. Morty, no one, can take you as a challenge…they can help you…. but first you have to realize that you CAN be helped. Take responsibility for yourself. Plus, the Natural Confidence Program is money back guaranteed, for one year. (It’s not a one time use deal. I took advantage and was able to repeate several of the beliefs 2-3 times, until I totally took it out if my chest.) — You can, too.
It took me a while to wake myself up, but I always knew that I could find myself, that I could return to the point before negative beliefs gripped me. My struggle, then, was finding an effective and easy tool that would work. Reading Steve Pavlina’s was a stepping stone. He is blunt, no flowery words.
a) For the past 20 years I ignorantly did not prepare for the future and the future has come upon me right now. I did alot of things, however, they were not effective towards creating goals in my life areas for my constituents
b) The event is that I have so many results my constintuents now need all at once that I did not plan and prepare for and a short time in which to deliver the results or cause inconvenience to my constituents.
c) I am totally conscious that my past behaviour was unintentional and I look forward to the possibility that should I live long, I will have planned for the next 20 years much more effectively.
d) The meaning I have given to the event is I am going to sink, I cant find a way to deliver what I need to deliver to my constituents. I am feeling overwhelmed. My goose is cooked.
e) The new meaning I am giving to this event is: I have a great opportunity to appreciate and ask for a package of grace that will help me to deliver what my constituents need, the infinite source of grace is there, its just a matter of doing my best. If I fall short I will seek forgiveness. In the mean time I am going to stop worrying and redirect the energy towards striving to deliver and planning more effectively for the future.
i found this very useful. it is very like the thought records in CBT where you have to rationalise a thought, feeling, experience etc and give an alternative thought, feeling, experience.
Wow, thank you! I was feeling really angry about a work colleague who was late – again. The meaning I was giving this event was that she didn’t respect me. This hooked right into a core belief that ‘I’m not good enough’. I saw that the reality was that she was late, and that she had been late many times. I had made up the meaning that she didn’t respect me. The anger dissolved instantly, and I was able to request in a neutral manner that in future she only commit to what she could actually manage, and to be on time for the meetings she committed to. It worked! Thank you again.
I’ve been watching what you’re doing now for some time and I think that you have some great insights into how we are subconsciously run by beliefs we ourselves create and can easily defuse them. I’ve been able to dissolve some of my negative beliefs with your techniques. In short I have support for what you’re doing.
BTW. The video you shot with Joe Vitale was perhaps more instructive for me than your interactive videos. It certainly gave me a clear context for the interactive videos.
That said, this is my third visit to this particular page and I notice that the first two times I signed up, I didn’t realize that the graphic with the text, ‘Are you overwhelmed…’ to the left of the opt-in form WAS a video. The only call-to-action that is obvious on this page is the one to sign up for the chance to win a scholarship, so that’s what I did first.
I was then perplexed to be questioned about what you meant by ‘occurrence’ because not having watched the video I had no idea what you’re talking about or asking about. I’d be curious how your results might change if the primary message on the page clearly said ‘watch this video first’. Perhaps you might make the video look more like what people expect a video to look like. Like it or not we been trained to look for something that looks like it’s from YouTube. The smaller videos to the right of the comments section seem better to me. They give a visual clue that the graphic is a video. The words, “WATCH NOW”, resolve all doubt.
Now that I’ve watched this video, I understand what you mean by ‘occurrence’.
Often I’m able to step back from occurrences with the thought that most people are just doing the best they can. Like everyone, some things push my buttons and I react before I think. I know that I have inadvertently or even unknowingly cut someone off in traffic, said something stupid, or acted like a complete jerk, and I’ll probably do so in the future from time to time despite my best intentions otherwise. I guess I’ll just have to hope that whoever I’ve offended has taken one of your lessons Morty.
Kudos to your daughter for handling the recent monthly phone call in a very mature and caring way. I’m sure you’re very proud of her.
I am having huge problems with procrastination most of my life and that problem didn’t go away with Natural confidence program and I am considering signing in for Occurrence course to deal with that issue as I have seen some testimonials with people claiming they were able to dissolve their procrastination and I just have couple of questions regarding that issue;
I have read all your explanations about occurrence process and I have done “who am I really process” a lot so I think I have a general idea how the process works and I think it can work great on dealing with upsets, disputes with people etc but I don’t see how you can make it work on task avoidance?
I mean procrastination is mostly subconscious, automatic and often “camouflaged” and I don’t understand how can distinguishing between reality and occurrence help here, for example:
1. I have work to do but I decide to check mail and then I continue to click on facebook twitter etc in order to avoid work, reality here is that I am sitting in front of computer and clicking buttons while “occurrence” in the back of my mind is “man I should go to work” but I mostly continue clicking buttons and promise myself I will get to work in a minute but my procrastination habit is not dissolved…
2.Second common situation I experience is resistance followed by rationalizations and excuses, for example, I plan to go to the gym after work but then when the time comes I feel resistance followed by excuse like ” I am too tired” and sure enough I follow the excuse and postpone my training; how can occurrence process help in such a spot?
Sorry for the long rambling post but I am really struggling with procrastination and I am hoping I could get rid of it with Occurrence curse but it is a lot of money for me and I would like to be sure I will be able to make it work on situations I have mentioned before I sign up so some examples and explanation would be great.
From my personal struggle with Procrastination.
My procrastination came from self-sabotage. I though that I wouldn’t want something, or it’s going to give me stress, so i would not feel good and would procrastinate by doing an activity that stopped me from thinking or make me feel good fast….rather than having to delay to get that good feeling..
The NPC program helped me because, well, I lost the negative feelings that I had for most things that I would procrastinate about. Btw, I personally don’t like the gym; I get bored and it’s not a challenge. I am not opposed to exercise– I love that feeling. I bike, a lot. I love Bikram Yoga, (it’s the same 26 poses; but for me, a challenge to master them). I love the spent feeling, it made my 1.5 hours worth while– specially with a teacher I like.
Take note, since the NCP, are you procrastinating the same as before, or just for certain events? Ex. I procrastinate calling my aunt, I do OC, dissolve negativity, call her. Yet, invite me to the gym…well NCP and OC are not magic pills.
Do you have a vision…A strong reason.. A dream…In your life? What do you want? “if you don’t like where you live, change. You are not a tree.” –Jim Rohn. Why are you putting off work? (answer out loud) Put NCP to work for you– don’t suppress, get rid of the limiting belief. If work is not a challenge, either change it or find a challenge– do other projects, aim for a certain position. Use your noggin. Don’t know where to start, read Jim Rohn. After finding the gift of Lefkoe, you can no longer live a blah live.
Hi Morty,
I have blocked memories from my childhood/teen life and am not able to tie my feelings of “I have nothing of value to offer people” to any specific event.
I would really like to do this work because it makes so much sense! Have you any suggestions for me?
Thanks so much for your contribution to people’s emotional health!
Michelle
Yes, Morty I found this effective…the separation is where the magic (release) occurs. i like your work!. i think you are an honest man with very good intentions.
Do u have something with ‘how to remove jealousy’ ?
I’ve tried to practice these steps on a recent event but it doesn’t seem to work. The guy that i adore has a close female friend whom they get to meet occasionally at workplace.Days ago she mentioned on her blog of how cute he is and i kinda feel upset and worry that she might have fallen for him,although the guy doesn’t seem to think of her that way(or just how it seems to me).The fact that they are close is making me jealous and i want to remove this negativity (or occuring ).
You might be trying to convince yourself that the guy you adore is not and will never be attracted to that girl, which is something you cannot control and remains a possibility in life. In that sense your efforts will be vain to remove such a belief.
However, if you tried to word on beliefs that depict danger to you in case, the guy you adore fell in love with the girl then you will end up feeling safe by eliminating such a belief.
Find interpretations that it is absolutely safe for you and your life even in that case where this guy falls for that girl.
In other words, realize that in any case you will be safe, happy and you will end up fine anyways.
I’m having trouble viewing this video, which I believe is to my outdated browser, however, I would like to say I have gone through other videos by Morty and have found them both amazing and life changing.
First of all, in the middle of the belief elimination process for “I’m not good enough,” I clicked repeat to go through one part again, as directed, then clicked Continue, but what came up next was part of a different session. It was part of “Who Am I Really.” So I did not get to complete the process.
Second, as I went through the “I’m not good enough” exercise and followed directions, I felt worse and worse each time you said to remember what happened as a child and try to recreate that experience. Well, I did that and became increasingly upset and depresed and sad. It dredged up old feelings and brought them front and center and did nothing to eliminate them.
Third, when you suggested an interpretation of “Mom and Dad have unrealistic expectations,” that did CHANGE my feelings, from depressed to ANGRY. I saw this in my tweens and teens and was very angry at them during that time, and now this anger feels very fresh and real. I did not eliminate the feeling, just transfered it to another one. Saying “I’m not good enough” did feel flatter and less powerful, but it didn’t make me feel better about myself. I didn’t experience any of the positive results you mentioned.
I was very skeptical about this process, as many others have stated, but I did it with as open a mind as I am capable of having.
I found you spoke way too quickly for me to absorb and fully appreciate what you were saying. It seemed to me that you were just running through a list of stuff and expecting that just by listening I would magically change. I’m sorry to say it didn’t work for me. And it’s nothing new. A deep-seated belief does not disappear forever just by looking at it logically for 10 minutes. If that were true, many, many people would have done this on their own or with friends or family or a therapist’s help.
Unfortunately, this has only served to reinforce my belief that nothing works for me and I am incapable of changing getting what I want out of life. It’s just one more thing I’ve tried that doesn’t work.
I just saw your comment and would like to respond. Sorry it has taken me so long.
To begin with, almost 150,000 have eliminated at least one belief using this process online and over 13,000 have eliminated many beliefs using this process with a live facilitator.
If it didn’t work for you, I’m sorry, but it has worked for thousands of others.
It sounds as if there was a glitch in your computer that kept you from completing the process. If you only go through part of it the belief will not be eliminated and all you do is recall your childhood. If you complete the process it will be eliminated (as over 90% of the people who try it report).
Please give it one more chance and try it again at http://www.recreateyourlife.com. If you have any questions please contact me directly at morty(at)lefkoeinstitute.com. I really want to support you in eliminating a painful belief and discovering that change is possible, that things can work for you, and it is possible for you to get what you want from life.
One warning: eliminating one belief is just that: eliminating ONE belief. Usually there are multiple beliefs that cause our behavioral and emotional problems. So you won’t necessarily feel totally different about your life. All that will happen is one thing that you felt was true about you won’t feel true any more.
I would just like to make you aware, Morty–Mr. Lefkoe, that some of us have been through some truly bad stuff. It’s harder for us to get around “it has no meaning.” It takes us longer to grasp meanings. We have no idea what normal is. Maybe there is no “normal” but I think people have some sort of a baseline. We don’t.
I was using your Lefkoe Method and I got down to the 11th or so step–I can’t go look because I don’t want what happened to happen again. Anyway…
I was going through the step and one of the “friend” comments was something to the effect of “it’s no big deal” and I started laughing. And I couldn’t stop. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I was afraid I would never stop. I laughed for about two hours. It was very scary. I looked up laughter and found out some laugh when something bad happens.
Maybe be a little more sensitive to who may be using your program.
I know it’s good to be right. And it’s good to be helpful. Sometimes it’s hard to be both–one might get in the way.
Hi Becky,
Yogi Bhajan (Kundalini yoga, you could try it) says we already dealt with whatever happened at the moment it happened, and you are just bringing the memory into every moment and letting it control your life. If you stay in the present right now, you’ll see nothing is happening. Thinking about what happened in the past (most of us have something) is a form of self pity, poor me, and not staying in the present, where your life is. This is your life, you have a choice in how it pans out. Morty can help you reclaim the ‘now’ and not live in the past. You just need to keep practicing what he says, it really does make a difference if you want it to. Morty has achieved the neutral mind. What others do and say is their stuff, you always have a choice. You will never change the past, it happened, it’s gone, you already dealt with it. Thinking about it is keeping it alive and giving the person who done whatever they done power over you in the now. Go out for a walk now and notice life, look at the sun the flowers the trees, the birds flying, life goes on. Nothing is happening right now, and when anything does happen we deal with it when it happens. If you break your leg you have no choice but to deal with it, same with everything, then when it heals, you walk slowly for a while until your strength returns, same with everything. Go clear out some clutter from the back right hand corner of your space and your basement if you have one and anything that reminds you negatively of the past or the person. This will free you also. I wish you a ‘now’ day. Keep going it will get better. Work with Morty.
Jackie, it’s a bit sad to think that you might be resigning yourself to living a life without positive change. I sincerely hope you do not give up on it! You might miss a lot of “beautiful sunsets” if you give up on self improvement. A sunset is neither beautiful, nor ugly, or anything inbetween…it is nothing but a physical event. It is light particles filtering through the atmosphere, and reflecting off of things. We percieve a sunset, and then give it meaning by our thoughts, beautiful maybe, or maybe it even makes us sad, remembering a past relationship. No matter what we feel when we look at a sunset, it is only our giving it meaning that makes it anything othere than what it really is….a simple physical occuring, nothing more, nothing less. So, if you give up on self improvement, which I hope you do not, you may miss some very beautiful and exciting “occurings” in your life….not to mention having to live with the not so beautiful occurings! I wish you well.
Jackie–you said:Unfortunately, this has only served to reinforce my belief that nothing works for me and I am incapable of changing getting what I want out of life. It’s just one more thing I’ve tried that doesn’t work.
Its only reinforced your belief. Your belief. What if you had a different belief? This is what Morty has been trying to say–You can change your belief. YOU have the power.
I, too, Jackie went through the pain of recalling childhood events. I take it you are from an abusive family. I am too. Morty may want to make a special program for us– it all seems a bit flippant in some regards. My hardest part was accepting that these terrible actions my family did had no meaning–I really felt like garbage then. But, that was the way I was looking at it. But, after persevering, there came an Ah-Ha moment. Stay with it, you’ll find that moment. (Honestly, you doing anything better with your life, your time? Stay with it–what do you really have to lose? Unless all you want want is to blame. Howz that been workin’ out for ya?)
I adapted Morty’s Method to fit me. I narrate my own “Helpers” I’m too afraid not to. (I’ll explain in another post.) I did a “I am Helpless” narrative. It was so fantastic! I don’t want to get into the abuse situation I was in–but, my helper (who is me, BTW) helped me see I wasn’t helpless! And helped with the hurt.Made me see it wasn’t my fault and had little to do with me.
The gist of it was, imagining having a bad day and throwing your favorite toy across the room. Do you hate the toy? NO. You are venting other feelings onto that toy. It helped me realize that the feelings and actions that came at me–had nothing to do with me. (There is some grief involved with this.) But, I knew it wasn’t ME. It wasn’t about me. I wasn’t worthless or helpless–it was someone throwing something at me that I no longer had to own! And, no, we aren’t toys–but it helped me not think it was something inherently wrong with me.
I was super skeptical of Morty’s process, but I’d tried so many ways to beat “I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH” and failed, so I gave it a shot. I was super serious about the process. I actually typed out word-for-word, everything he said during the exercise. Doing this caused me to really stop and think, as I went through the process. I did this over two years ago, it worked, and continues to work to this day. Blows my mind that something I dealt with all my life was erased in about two hours of work. Do the process over, type it out, really think it through and see what happens. I can understand NOT wanting to do that based on your experience thus far, but then my question to you is, how bad do you want it? Not carrying that stupid belief around in my head has been so freeing. I hope you try out what I suggested, cause getting rid of that belief, truly is life changing.
The process was painful for me too but it worked. My “reframe” after I went through all the beliefs was – I went from thinking that I was really messed up (having had virtually all the negative beliefs the program states) to understanding that my parents were really messed up as they never dealt with their baggage that they took out on me. I was the figurative “whipping post” for THEIR dysfunction. Once I understood that I was merely and innocent bystander that happened to be a convenient way for THEM to take out their dysfunction on, it was easy to let go of my limiting beliefs and simply feel lucky that I was able to survive their dysfunction and now understand it properly and let go of it. I don’t hate my parents now, I just feel sorry for them and wish they would have dealt with their own baggage rather than take it out on me.
Hello Morty,
I work in sales and I still hate to pick up that phone to call a prospect after being in the business for many years.
When listening to your explaination on ‘Occurings’ I immediately get how I’m creating an interpretation of event (picking up the phone) that has not even happened yet and reacting to it. By knowing what I am doing helps me to better understand myself but while it helps to reduce my anxiety over picking that phone up it doesn’t fully remove it.
Thanks, LH
Hi LH, You work in Sales, but don’t want to pick up the phone… I was wondering… What meaning are you putting on the call, and on the outcome? Try re-framing it to mean something that really MEANS something to you. Ideas are things like:-
* – I make these calls because I really believe that my product or service will make a difference to the person I am calling.
* – I make these calls to create employment and happiness for the people that create/make/produce the product..
* – I make these calls to create happiness for my family and myself through the return that I receive for my effort.
* – etc…..
Hi Robert,
It all depends on what you want.
If you want peace of mind then doing the occuring process will give you this. If you want to change some part of your environment then you will have to try another way to do that if you didn’t get what you want. If you are more focused on the latter to make yourself feel peace, happiness or contentment then this is going to be difficult. Why? Because we don’t control the universe and life is going to unfold exactly as it is meant to everyday. If you are not getting what you want in this life you need to keep altering your actions until you do. I hope this makes sense. 🙂
The video is good – however it does not alwways solve problems. I have been unknowing of your method using the technique for years.
However, in many cases it gets stuck – for example what if the meaning that we are giving to a certain occurence is correct ? What then – ignoring that will deepen the problem and the event will happen again and again.
Just for an example :
My boss gets angry – I feel that he is getting at me and wants to throw me out or wants to put me down. Now according to your method, I should separate the meaning that I give it and throw it out of the window. But what if it is true ?
How do I then remain calm and peaceful ?
Also how do I identify the meaning or rather the reality – if it is behind the back and not on the surface.
Ignoring the meaning or the motive of a person in the actions of a person cannot really be a good idea, can it ?
reaaly would like to master my mind
Hi Morty
Thanks for the lesson on dissolving negative feelings. I have / had a lot of stress around courage, bravery and other responses to negative feelings. I have been using the Lefkoe Belief Dissolving Method that you gave in your TED talk and what I learnt in LMT1 and LMT2 to dissolve my own negative feelings. Thank you for the greater peace that has resulted from that. I wish you continuing peace in your life and when dealing with otherwise challenging health issues.
Warm regards
thinking about going out for a walk with a friend today .I’m putting off making contact. my tummy hurts and I’m anxious. I’m not keeping my word that we would try and go out 3 times a week . feeling like a failure. and like I don’t keep my word. The reality is I don’t want to do the laundry and go pay a bill and i’m punishing myself by not going on a walk by feeling bad. What a loop of disaster. THe surprising thought is I hate to write on computer and yet here I am . Maybe I really do want to feel good. . Is that right?
I sent an email to my daughter that included something I thought might be upsetting to her. She has not replied for six days. I have made up the meaning that she is angry with me which is why she has not replied to the email or called me. I have vascilated between being hurt and then even angry (defending myself in my head). When I give up the meaning I realize the content of the email mostly supportive and loving and she often doesn’t respond to an email or call because she is a very busy young married mother (with a 3 yr. old) who is in a Ph.D. program (the events). I have been creating stories in my head (again) because I was worried about one thing I wrote out of many (meaning). Sigh of relief! I’m going to write the steps out on a sheet of paper in big letters. Thanks again Morty.
I sent an email to my daughter which included something I was slightly concerned might upset her. I haven’t received a reply or a phone call for six days. I have felt hurt, even angry, and had some dramatic stories in my head. I have convinced myself that she is upset. I now realize that is the meaning I have given her lack of response. Since most of my message was loving and supportive and she often does not answer my emails because she is a young married mother in a Ph.D program, I have given a negative meaning to the event (not hearing from her). Sigh of relief! There I go (went), making up negative stories again.
Thanks again Morty
I attended a workshop at work today. I was enjoying it and feeling pretty at ease even though I’m not a ‘morning person’.
Then, seems like out of nowhere I began to feel self conscious. I noticed that the person next to me seemed uncomfortable. I started examining myself, trying to figure out what it was about me that was causing her reaction. I concluded I must have morning breath or BO that I couldn’t smell but she did. LOL It sounds funny to me now but at the time it felt real and I became very anxious about it and uncomfortable myself. I even came home still feeling bad about it, even though I never received confirmation that she was actually uncomfortable, that it was because of me or that I smelled.
Using this method, I can see the negative response I was having to the situation.
The meaning: I’m not (clean) good enough, I’m being rejected
Now I can see that in reality I was looking at this person and she appeared uncomfortable. She was leaning away from me. She had her hand up to her nose. She could’ve been doing this for any reason. I made it about me and gave it a negative meaning which produced a negative feeling.
I do feel much more content when I do this process. However, I am removed from the situation at the moment. I will try this again at the next meeting. I guess groups or being physically close to others triggers this reaction in me. I’m going through some career changes right now and I really want to get a handle on this before I move on to my next job.
P.S
Is it normal for this to occur even after I’ve completed the natural confidence program? Or did I not properly eliminate a belief or 2?
Hi, Thanks. When I started to watch the video I felt life stress, but in reality after undestranding your concepts and did the exsercise I understood that the game was on me. And that I have the hability to change my ocurrences I felt liberated and my muscles started to relax,
Thanks
Karla
I did the exercise with an incident – letter written about a project of mine- which made me angry at the person and I disliked her. After going through the process I began to realise that the fact of writing a letter and the meaning i gave to it where two different things and while I cannot change the fact- a letter was written- I have all the power to change and choose the meaning of it. Thai liberated me and dissolved my feelings I had for this colleague.
watching the video it occured to me that often if someone is in a bad mood i tend to blame myself. thinking i did something wrong and was the cause of the mood. in reality the person is just in a bad mood and it is nohing to do with me.
Dear Morty, in fact, this doesn´t work for me, I love and appreciate your efforts, actually in don´t work is not so easy, please help me to be free from
limiting beliefs-I AM NOPT ENOUGH
FEAR OF REJECETION and failure, thanks, jOao
dear Morty, in fact this didn´t work for me, I continue with my NEGATIVE FEELINGS, LIMITING BELIEFS, AND ASKING FOR A SOLUTION TO MY
FEARS-REJECTION-FAILURE
LIMITING BELIEFS -I AM NOT ENOUGH-MISTAKE AND FAILURE ARE BAD
I have been experiencing stress because of not being able to find a job. There are many opportunities in my field, and recruiters tell me how amazing my experience and CV are, plus my interview technique is good (so i am told). Yet, no job. The meaning i attach to it is failure. Another problem is my girlfriend who now lives in another country and we want to be together. However, she feels the longer we are apart means that the relationship must end, because if we were meant to be together, something great should happen.
Having used your technique, the anxiety has reduced… now i need to find a way of securing that job!
Thank you Mr. Lefkoe.
Morty,
I am so grateful that you post people’s comments on this site. It is truly amazing how we are all have so much to offer and yet are so afraid. We are all in the same boat! Just don’t realize it. I don’t know how I came across your work and that is unusual for me as I can remember lots of details, and big on connections, but so grateful I did. My life is truly changing and seeing all these posts reminds me of how much we all need to be valued and appreciated. Most of the fears people write in about are so similar. It is great to know that you are not alone and that we can live in Freedom from our beliefs.
Thanks for your work!
Morty,
Thank you so much for posting the comments people leave here. Wow, we all so many of the same fears. And you can tell there are so many people who have so much to give, but we are limited by our beliefs so much. I don’t even know how I found out about you and your programs, but am so grateful that I did. I cannot wait until the next video!
THANKS SO MUCH!!!!
Hi,
I never received the process in writing
gene
These steps to separate what is actually happening from how we feel about what we sense should be required teaching for everyone. Only by resolving the negative attitudes and prejudices we have learned through a life of experience can we deal with Now from a position of acceptance. Of course, there are times we must extract ourselves from a situation with harmful people. Also, there are those unfortunate masochists and sadists (more folks than would like to admit it) that focus on the desire to squeeze vicarious emotions from most every happening. This is what we were taught as youngsters–some people prefer to jump in the pile of manure and roll around like a dog rather than walking around it.
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This process appears to complement well the Lefkoe recreate your life method. I participated in a stressful meeting at work earlier this week (before this program was announced) during which time the executive–dissatisfied with the progress of a project and not accurately understanding the the circumstances–put some of us on the spot. The meeting became confrontational when we attempted to explain these circumstances in the face of his oversimplifications. I felt a bit flustered and inadequate and was unable to completely describe my knowledge amid the barrage of questions. In retrospect, I was interpreting the event as a reflection of a failing of mine, like it was a personal attack on my abilitiles. I can see, however, that this was an occuring and that the executive was merely trying to inspire the team to develop goals and a plan that would overcome our existing challenges and move the project forward. I realize that I frequently internalize these types of “occurings” every day but this has me wondering if my interpretation of reality is valid. I’d be very open to learning more.
Thank you I will try this with my husband when he watches movies that knock me out of my happy state. Last night I felt extreemly blissful looking out at the view of the bay, a full moon started to appear and I was about to eat my delicious dinner. Then I heard a scream from the tv of a man being whipped and people were counting. It was a film about the old days and at the end of the movie everyone was shot. I tried not to listen to the stuff and I tried to tell my husband how his shows distress me. He looked at me like I was insane and said, “It’s only a movie.” How can I stay in my blissful vibe even when “what is” isn’t what I love? Thank you for your help.
Yes Morty makes it simple
I can’t get the video … ‘healing broken relationships’ to load. I get an ‘error message’
Hi morty.
Ive been using some of your techniques for months now with some success. It has helped me in social and work situations, especially approach anxiety. This stuff really does work.
One thing that still bothers me is my thoughts on a relationship break up 10 months ago. My mind repeats the fight that started the break up over and over. I constantly get dreams of seeing her in the future. sometimes we fight, sometimes we get along fine, sometimes im fine with it like we wernt suited and other times i cant be happy without her. I have learned alot from it, especially in regards to needy behaviour at the time, low self esteem and im greatfull to be aware of certains behaviours that i can work on to grow but after ten months apart i would hope that negative disturbing dreams i have about her and her new partner should be dissapating by now. I feel like i have dealt with it. I dont blame her for everything, we both made mistakes. I do believe there is someone better out there for me, i have answered any what if questions that come up in regard to this topic and they work but then keep coming back. Ive had therapy for this, cbt and minfulness techniques. I have been with other women also but nothing seems to stop my mind from thinking about her.I answer any questions my mind has on this using cbt and your techniqe and it does work as i get some calm and see it as an irrational thought, but my mind just throws up more. Sometimes its just daydream stuff without any clear question. What can i do to get my mind to stop thinking about her.
Thank you Morty ,do you know when I practiced this technique I felt a lightness in me ,I laughed at the whole event! It was so liberating in that my whole body relaxed and I realised how we take ourselves so seriously
Useful strategies!
I fear to finally decide what my purpose in life is and what career path to follow and, on top of that, I find myself thousand of reasons not to succeed… I feel overwhelmed with that and I cannot find the strength to face all the obstacles I THINK I have to face such as: lack of money , need of emotional and psychological support, meeting all the conditions needed.
As I logically go through the steps suggested by you , I do believe that these negative believes vanish- for a limited amount of time. I also realize that I need constant reinforcement to cut the cord to my negatives beliefs and self sabotaging, as I go further in the process of actually taking the necessary steps to get closer to what I have decided to pursuit.
I wish I could have the knowledge to decide what I’m made for and to follow my purpose in life!
Hi, Morty,
So the one thing that is causing major stress in my life right now is my money situation (something that’s been ongoing for years). So the “event” is: x amount of money in my bank account and bills due that add up to 3 times that amount. The meaning I’ve given that is that I’m a failure (and the feelings have been overwhelm, stress, desperation, unable to think clearly). The other meaning I realized I was creating was “not enough money”. Yet, just defining this as an “event” helped me to see that “not enough money” is just a judgment — that the reality is “this much money” in the account and “this much money” due for bills. It allowed me to separate myself from the event — I’d been actually identifying with this event, as if it *was* me! Because, obviously (in my previous way of interpreting it), if there “isn’t enough money” then “I’m a failure”. Now, I am feeling my whole system calm down and I’m realizing that it’s just numbers. And I can now take the perspective of: “what am I going to do about that” from a place of calm, rather than feeling panicked and overwhelmed. WOW. So simple, yet such a big shift. Thank you. 🙂
great explanation makes perfect sense. looking forward to the second video
absolutely awesome….nobodys quite put it so simply…really hands on
Thank you so much
MORTY YOU ARE SO INSPIRING
As I’m sitting here this morning, I’ve gotten myself upset that my girlfriend, who is traveling abroad at the moment, is not responding to my emails quickly enough. My response is that I think she’s annoyed with me, which makes me feel sad and lonely.
I have realized that this is an emotional response to this event.
The meaning I have assigned to it is that she is annoyed with me.
Her not emailing me back quickly enough could be due to many many factors. It is NOT intrinsically linked with her being annoyed. It could be any number of reasons. It could mean anything, or nothing. Any number of reasons are just as valid.
I have honestly begun to feel better already. I LOVE this process, Morty! Thank you so much for laying it out so clearly!
Sincerest thanks,
-Scotty
This is a very good video.
It is so awesome that you assist us in making these distinctions.
All too often our occurings are conflated with reality, and watching these videos is giving me glimpses into how this is happening and how i can stop it.
Thank you so much, and i can’t wait for the next video!
All the best,
~Mike
Wow. I am quite excited to go further into Lefkoe knowledge.
The program has worked for me bc, whenever I need to, I pause and really ponder on your words. it has taken me 30 plus minutes to bust one belief. Oh, and I’m liking this OC. When it comes to some people close to me, I still get defensive/angry. I look forward to the calm using the technic I just learned above. I want to feel “free,” even as I bike though NYC traffic.
I don’t see any place to view the video, and I have already signed up for the scholarship.
submission failed.
I don’t see any place to view the video, and I have already signed up for the scholarship.
Your teaching method is easy to follow. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. I will continue using the method of seeing reality as it is vs. my own interpretation of reality.
I have found your principles sound and effective. I am a retired person nearing my 80th birthday
so I can only participate in the free things you are offering and I find them all very helpful.
Thank you for generously sharing these insights with us free of charge. Many things are not
new to me at this stage of my life as I have been a teacher, counselor, spiritual director my entire
life in addition to being a musician. Your insights bring together many of the learning aspects of my life which have helped to keep me on the path of self-reflection for greater authenticity in my
retirement years. Blessings in your ongoing ventures. Gratefully,
Hello!
I have yet to watch the video and I did not know where to ask this question so I am posting it here, but I am curious about the content of Occuring. I know that it can change the way we think because we are able to distinguish between what reality is and what meanings we put on it by ourselves.
I have a bit of a problem with myself. I have been watching a music show recently and I realized I was doing what I hated to see people do on youtube, etc. I was judging people by their energy, how they look and decide “these guys are boring, I want to skip this song”. Sometimes the urge is so strong that I do skip the song and then feel regret and I feel like I am very hateful, prejudiced and impatient.
In the past, when I shared my interests with people and some of them would react with, “eww, who would ever do that!? are you crazy. even if someone killed me I wouldn’t do that.” and even though I am a bit over that already with your videos’ help, -I know I have no reason to be affected by those words- I still remember how it stings and I still have feelings of… sympathy(?) for these people that I keep judging without knowing about them anything. I feel really bad about this. Here I am trying to change the way I think. So do you think is there a way to eliminate these kinds of thoughts as well (maybe with Occuring?)
PS: ((I think it is mostly because of my values maybe that I cannot keep those thoughts (feeling hurt) from before. I feel it as “very wrong” in my head, still. I may not feel like it hurts, may be detached, but like I said, I still find it “hateful, prejudiced and impatient”. Dunno if it is because I am not over these yet, but the thing matters is they harbor those feelings- the feelings don’t need to have specific names- and I still have them, too.))
This is wonderful! I intuit it requires a level of willingness within the individual in order to be effective. Also I connect the steps with a similar yet spiritual process described in Healing and Recovery by Dr David R Hawkins. One difference being, a true spiritual process would never connect the ego’s thoughts and emotions to the word “reality”. For me the best and simplest action is to cancel my thoughts (before I have a chance to connect meaning or emotion) and unless I have requested them (usually for purposes of discernment). It helps to realize your thoughts aren’t who you are anyways.
Most people are addicted to thinking. Most thinking is negatively charged. The process of thinking really is like an addiction.
I am inspired by the courage it takes to step into any solution (such as Morty’s). Just remember what an addict goes through to cease his need for his “drug”. Be kind to yourselves and whenever you get impatient or frustrated find something to be grateful for (this always works).
first of all- you never answer my coments.I am serious here, and I need real help.I don´t agree you and I am afraid to pay you and don´t get results is too expensive your course.I have been following for many many time and don´t get results so far, you talk, write and try to show things so so easy, in fact it is not, and i keep my mind fears and limiting beliefs, with a despair sensations of no hope.Please Morty, take my situation as a challenge to you, help me don´t ask for money, let me be free first of my fears(rejection, failure, judgments) limiting beliefs as i am not enough, mistake and failure are bad, please let me free let me pat you with my testimony, help me plaes.
A part of me feels like I should let M. Lefkoe answer this… But, well, I’ve always been one to say my thoughts. After doing the Natural Confidence Program, all the common limiting beliefs that had gripped me these past few years, have dissolved. I thank Morty much for this gift. (Mind you, I still have some deeper limiting beliefs that I am aiming to deal with, and I am confident that I will.)
I will be blunt, and sorry if it hurts, but I hope you take it as a challenge to yourself. Morty, no one, can take you as a challenge…they can help you…. but first you have to realize that you CAN be helped. Take responsibility for yourself. Plus, the Natural Confidence Program is money back guaranteed, for one year. (It’s not a one time use deal. I took advantage and was able to repeate several of the beliefs 2-3 times, until I totally took it out if my chest.) — You can, too.
It took me a while to wake myself up, but I always knew that I could find myself, that I could return to the point before negative beliefs gripped me. My struggle, then, was finding an effective and easy tool that would work. Reading Steve Pavlina’s was a stepping stone. He is blunt, no flowery words.
Joao, Do you believe you can be helped?
Greetings Morty,
My events are as follows;
a) For the past 20 years I ignorantly did not prepare for the future and the future has come upon me right now. I did alot of things, however, they were not effective towards creating goals in my life areas for my constituents
b) The event is that I have so many results my constintuents now need all at once that I did not plan and prepare for and a short time in which to deliver the results or cause inconvenience to my constituents.
c) I am totally conscious that my past behaviour was unintentional and I look forward to the possibility that should I live long, I will have planned for the next 20 years much more effectively.
d) The meaning I have given to the event is I am going to sink, I cant find a way to deliver what I need to deliver to my constituents. I am feeling overwhelmed. My goose is cooked.
e) The new meaning I am giving to this event is: I have a great opportunity to appreciate and ask for a package of grace that will help me to deliver what my constituents need, the infinite source of grace is there, its just a matter of doing my best. If I fall short I will seek forgiveness. In the mean time I am going to stop worrying and redirect the energy towards striving to deliver and planning more effectively for the future.
Thankyou very much for your help.
i found this very useful. it is very like the thought records in CBT where you have to rationalise a thought, feeling, experience etc and give an alternative thought, feeling, experience.
Wow, thank you! I was feeling really angry about a work colleague who was late – again. The meaning I was giving this event was that she didn’t respect me. This hooked right into a core belief that ‘I’m not good enough’. I saw that the reality was that she was late, and that she had been late many times. I had made up the meaning that she didn’t respect me. The anger dissolved instantly, and I was able to request in a neutral manner that in future she only commit to what she could actually manage, and to be on time for the meetings she committed to. It worked! Thank you again.
Hi Marty,
I’ve been watching what you’re doing now for some time and I think that you have some great insights into how we are subconsciously run by beliefs we ourselves create and can easily defuse them. I’ve been able to dissolve some of my negative beliefs with your techniques. In short I have support for what you’re doing.
BTW. The video you shot with Joe Vitale was perhaps more instructive for me than your interactive videos. It certainly gave me a clear context for the interactive videos.
That said, this is my third visit to this particular page and I notice that the first two times I signed up, I didn’t realize that the graphic with the text, ‘Are you overwhelmed…’ to the left of the opt-in form WAS a video. The only call-to-action that is obvious on this page is the one to sign up for the chance to win a scholarship, so that’s what I did first.
I was then perplexed to be questioned about what you meant by ‘occurrence’ because not having watched the video I had no idea what you’re talking about or asking about. I’d be curious how your results might change if the primary message on the page clearly said ‘watch this video first’. Perhaps you might make the video look more like what people expect a video to look like. Like it or not we been trained to look for something that looks like it’s from YouTube. The smaller videos to the right of the comments section seem better to me. They give a visual clue that the graphic is a video. The words, “WATCH NOW”, resolve all doubt.
Now that I’ve watched this video, I understand what you mean by ‘occurrence’.
Often I’m able to step back from occurrences with the thought that most people are just doing the best they can. Like everyone, some things push my buttons and I react before I think. I know that I have inadvertently or even unknowingly cut someone off in traffic, said something stupid, or acted like a complete jerk, and I’ll probably do so in the future from time to time despite my best intentions otherwise. I guess I’ll just have to hope that whoever I’ve offended has taken one of your lessons Morty.
Kudos to your daughter for handling the recent monthly phone call in a very mature and caring way. I’m sure you’re very proud of her.
Hello !
I am having huge problems with procrastination most of my life and that problem didn’t go away with Natural confidence program and I am considering signing in for Occurrence course to deal with that issue as I have seen some testimonials with people claiming they were able to dissolve their procrastination and I just have couple of questions regarding that issue;
I have read all your explanations about occurrence process and I have done “who am I really process” a lot so I think I have a general idea how the process works and I think it can work great on dealing with upsets, disputes with people etc but I don’t see how you can make it work on task avoidance?
I mean procrastination is mostly subconscious, automatic and often “camouflaged” and I don’t understand how can distinguishing between reality and occurrence help here, for example:
1. I have work to do but I decide to check mail and then I continue to click on facebook twitter etc in order to avoid work, reality here is that I am sitting in front of computer and clicking buttons while “occurrence” in the back of my mind is “man I should go to work” but I mostly continue clicking buttons and promise myself I will get to work in a minute but my procrastination habit is not dissolved…
2.Second common situation I experience is resistance followed by rationalizations and excuses, for example, I plan to go to the gym after work but then when the time comes I feel resistance followed by excuse like ” I am too tired” and sure enough I follow the excuse and postpone my training; how can occurrence process help in such a spot?
Sorry for the long rambling post but I am really struggling with procrastination and I am hoping I could get rid of it with Occurrence curse but it is a lot of money for me and I would like to be sure I will be able to make it work on situations I have mentioned before I sign up so some examples and explanation would be great.
Thank you for all your help and take care !
I would also love to hear your comments on this, Morty. I seem to be dealing with similar procrastination issues. Thanks!
Hi Chinaski,
Did morty ever get back to you re your query as I suffer from procrastination also and I have many thjngs I wish to accomplicsh?
Regards
Pauline
Hi Pauline,
Our Natural Confidence program is guaranteed to help you eliminate your procrastination.
Check it out at http://naturalconfidenceprogram.com. Let me know what you think of it.
Love,Morty
From my personal struggle with Procrastination.
My procrastination came from self-sabotage. I though that I wouldn’t want something, or it’s going to give me stress, so i would not feel good and would procrastinate by doing an activity that stopped me from thinking or make me feel good fast….rather than having to delay to get that good feeling..
The NPC program helped me because, well, I lost the negative feelings that I had for most things that I would procrastinate about. Btw, I personally don’t like the gym; I get bored and it’s not a challenge. I am not opposed to exercise– I love that feeling. I bike, a lot. I love Bikram Yoga, (it’s the same 26 poses; but for me, a challenge to master them). I love the spent feeling, it made my 1.5 hours worth while– specially with a teacher I like.
Take note, since the NCP, are you procrastinating the same as before, or just for certain events? Ex. I procrastinate calling my aunt, I do OC, dissolve negativity, call her. Yet, invite me to the gym…well NCP and OC are not magic pills.
Do you have a vision…A strong reason.. A dream…In your life? What do you want? “if you don’t like where you live, change. You are not a tree.” –Jim Rohn. Why are you putting off work? (answer out loud) Put NCP to work for you– don’t suppress, get rid of the limiting belief. If work is not a challenge, either change it or find a challenge– do other projects, aim for a certain position. Use your noggin. Don’t know where to start, read Jim Rohn. After finding the gift of Lefkoe, you can no longer live a blah live.
Hi Morty,
I have blocked memories from my childhood/teen life and am not able to tie my feelings of “I have nothing of value to offer people” to any specific event.
I would really like to do this work because it makes so much sense! Have you any suggestions for me?
Thanks so much for your contribution to people’s emotional health!
Michelle
Yes, Morty I found this effective…the separation is where the magic (release) occurs. i like your work!. i think you are an honest man with very good intentions.
David eliot
Do u have something with ‘how to remove jealousy’ ?
I’ve tried to practice these steps on a recent event but it doesn’t seem to work. The guy that i adore has a close female friend whom they get to meet occasionally at workplace.Days ago she mentioned on her blog of how cute he is and i kinda feel upset and worry that she might have fallen for him,although the guy doesn’t seem to think of her that way(or just how it seems to me).The fact that they are close is making me jealous and i want to remove this negativity (or occuring ).
Is there a way,Morty?
Hyesung,
You might be trying to convince yourself that the guy you adore is not and will never be attracted to that girl, which is something you cannot control and remains a possibility in life. In that sense your efforts will be vain to remove such a belief.
However, if you tried to word on beliefs that depict danger to you in case, the guy you adore fell in love with the girl then you will end up feeling safe by eliminating such a belief.
Find interpretations that it is absolutely safe for you and your life even in that case where this guy falls for that girl.
In other words, realize that in any case you will be safe, happy and you will end up fine anyways.
The vidoe is not working.
I’m having trouble viewing this video, which I believe is to my outdated browser, however, I would like to say I have gone through other videos by Morty and have found them both amazing and life changing.
Thank you.
First of all, in the middle of the belief elimination process for “I’m not good enough,” I clicked repeat to go through one part again, as directed, then clicked Continue, but what came up next was part of a different session. It was part of “Who Am I Really.” So I did not get to complete the process.
Second, as I went through the “I’m not good enough” exercise and followed directions, I felt worse and worse each time you said to remember what happened as a child and try to recreate that experience. Well, I did that and became increasingly upset and depresed and sad. It dredged up old feelings and brought them front and center and did nothing to eliminate them.
Third, when you suggested an interpretation of “Mom and Dad have unrealistic expectations,” that did CHANGE my feelings, from depressed to ANGRY. I saw this in my tweens and teens and was very angry at them during that time, and now this anger feels very fresh and real. I did not eliminate the feeling, just transfered it to another one. Saying “I’m not good enough” did feel flatter and less powerful, but it didn’t make me feel better about myself. I didn’t experience any of the positive results you mentioned.
I was very skeptical about this process, as many others have stated, but I did it with as open a mind as I am capable of having.
I found you spoke way too quickly for me to absorb and fully appreciate what you were saying. It seemed to me that you were just running through a list of stuff and expecting that just by listening I would magically change. I’m sorry to say it didn’t work for me. And it’s nothing new. A deep-seated belief does not disappear forever just by looking at it logically for 10 minutes. If that were true, many, many people would have done this on their own or with friends or family or a therapist’s help.
Unfortunately, this has only served to reinforce my belief that nothing works for me and I am incapable of changing getting what I want out of life. It’s just one more thing I’ve tried that doesn’t work.
Hi Jackie,
I just saw your comment and would like to respond. Sorry it has taken me so long.
To begin with, almost 150,000 have eliminated at least one belief using this process online and over 13,000 have eliminated many beliefs using this process with a live facilitator.
If it didn’t work for you, I’m sorry, but it has worked for thousands of others.
It sounds as if there was a glitch in your computer that kept you from completing the process. If you only go through part of it the belief will not be eliminated and all you do is recall your childhood. If you complete the process it will be eliminated (as over 90% of the people who try it report).
Please give it one more chance and try it again at http://www.recreateyourlife.com. If you have any questions please contact me directly at morty(at)lefkoeinstitute.com. I really want to support you in eliminating a painful belief and discovering that change is possible, that things can work for you, and it is possible for you to get what you want from life.
One warning: eliminating one belief is just that: eliminating ONE belief. Usually there are multiple beliefs that cause our behavioral and emotional problems. So you won’t necessarily feel totally different about your life. All that will happen is one thing that you felt was true about you won’t feel true any more.
Love, Morty
I would just like to make you aware, Morty–Mr. Lefkoe, that some of us have been through some truly bad stuff. It’s harder for us to get around “it has no meaning.” It takes us longer to grasp meanings. We have no idea what normal is. Maybe there is no “normal” but I think people have some sort of a baseline. We don’t.
I was using your Lefkoe Method and I got down to the 11th or so step–I can’t go look because I don’t want what happened to happen again. Anyway…
I was going through the step and one of the “friend” comments was something to the effect of “it’s no big deal” and I started laughing. And I couldn’t stop. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I was afraid I would never stop. I laughed for about two hours. It was very scary. I looked up laughter and found out some laugh when something bad happens.
Maybe be a little more sensitive to who may be using your program.
I know it’s good to be right. And it’s good to be helpful. Sometimes it’s hard to be both–one might get in the way.
Hi Becky,
Yogi Bhajan (Kundalini yoga, you could try it) says we already dealt with whatever happened at the moment it happened, and you are just bringing the memory into every moment and letting it control your life. If you stay in the present right now, you’ll see nothing is happening. Thinking about what happened in the past (most of us have something) is a form of self pity, poor me, and not staying in the present, where your life is. This is your life, you have a choice in how it pans out. Morty can help you reclaim the ‘now’ and not live in the past. You just need to keep practicing what he says, it really does make a difference if you want it to. Morty has achieved the neutral mind. What others do and say is their stuff, you always have a choice. You will never change the past, it happened, it’s gone, you already dealt with it. Thinking about it is keeping it alive and giving the person who done whatever they done power over you in the now. Go out for a walk now and notice life, look at the sun the flowers the trees, the birds flying, life goes on. Nothing is happening right now, and when anything does happen we deal with it when it happens. If you break your leg you have no choice but to deal with it, same with everything, then when it heals, you walk slowly for a while until your strength returns, same with everything. Go clear out some clutter from the back right hand corner of your space and your basement if you have one and anything that reminds you negatively of the past or the person. This will free you also. I wish you a ‘now’ day. Keep going it will get better. Work with Morty.
Jackie, it’s a bit sad to think that you might be resigning yourself to living a life without positive change. I sincerely hope you do not give up on it! You might miss a lot of “beautiful sunsets” if you give up on self improvement. A sunset is neither beautiful, nor ugly, or anything inbetween…it is nothing but a physical event. It is light particles filtering through the atmosphere, and reflecting off of things. We percieve a sunset, and then give it meaning by our thoughts, beautiful maybe, or maybe it even makes us sad, remembering a past relationship. No matter what we feel when we look at a sunset, it is only our giving it meaning that makes it anything othere than what it really is….a simple physical occuring, nothing more, nothing less. So, if you give up on self improvement, which I hope you do not, you may miss some very beautiful and exciting “occurings” in your life….not to mention having to live with the not so beautiful occurings! I wish you well.
Jackie–you said:Unfortunately, this has only served to reinforce my belief that nothing works for me and I am incapable of changing getting what I want out of life. It’s just one more thing I’ve tried that doesn’t work.
Its only reinforced your belief. Your belief. What if you had a different belief? This is what Morty has been trying to say–You can change your belief. YOU have the power.
I, too, Jackie went through the pain of recalling childhood events. I take it you are from an abusive family. I am too. Morty may want to make a special program for us– it all seems a bit flippant in some regards. My hardest part was accepting that these terrible actions my family did had no meaning–I really felt like garbage then. But, that was the way I was looking at it. But, after persevering, there came an Ah-Ha moment. Stay with it, you’ll find that moment. (Honestly, you doing anything better with your life, your time? Stay with it–what do you really have to lose? Unless all you want want is to blame. Howz that been workin’ out for ya?)
I adapted Morty’s Method to fit me. I narrate my own “Helpers” I’m too afraid not to. (I’ll explain in another post.) I did a “I am Helpless” narrative. It was so fantastic! I don’t want to get into the abuse situation I was in–but, my helper (who is me, BTW) helped me see I wasn’t helpless! And helped with the hurt.Made me see it wasn’t my fault and had little to do with me.
The gist of it was, imagining having a bad day and throwing your favorite toy across the room. Do you hate the toy? NO. You are venting other feelings onto that toy. It helped me realize that the feelings and actions that came at me–had nothing to do with me. (There is some grief involved with this.) But, I knew it wasn’t ME. It wasn’t about me. I wasn’t worthless or helpless–it was someone throwing something at me that I no longer had to own! And, no, we aren’t toys–but it helped me not think it was something inherently wrong with me.
I wish you peace.
Hi,
I was super skeptical of Morty’s process, but I’d tried so many ways to beat “I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH” and failed, so I gave it a shot. I was super serious about the process. I actually typed out word-for-word, everything he said during the exercise. Doing this caused me to really stop and think, as I went through the process. I did this over two years ago, it worked, and continues to work to this day. Blows my mind that something I dealt with all my life was erased in about two hours of work. Do the process over, type it out, really think it through and see what happens. I can understand NOT wanting to do that based on your experience thus far, but then my question to you is, how bad do you want it? Not carrying that stupid belief around in my head has been so freeing. I hope you try out what I suggested, cause getting rid of that belief, truly is life changing.
The process was painful for me too but it worked. My “reframe” after I went through all the beliefs was – I went from thinking that I was really messed up (having had virtually all the negative beliefs the program states) to understanding that my parents were really messed up as they never dealt with their baggage that they took out on me. I was the figurative “whipping post” for THEIR dysfunction. Once I understood that I was merely and innocent bystander that happened to be a convenient way for THEM to take out their dysfunction on, it was easy to let go of my limiting beliefs and simply feel lucky that I was able to survive their dysfunction and now understand it properly and let go of it. I don’t hate my parents now, I just feel sorry for them and wish they would have dealt with their own baggage rather than take it out on me.
Hello Morty,
I work in sales and I still hate to pick up that phone to call a prospect after being in the business for many years.
When listening to your explaination on ‘Occurings’ I immediately get how I’m creating an interpretation of event (picking up the phone) that has not even happened yet and reacting to it. By knowing what I am doing helps me to better understand myself but while it helps to reduce my anxiety over picking that phone up it doesn’t fully remove it.
Thanks, LH
Hi LH, You work in Sales, but don’t want to pick up the phone… I was wondering… What meaning are you putting on the call, and on the outcome? Try re-framing it to mean something that really MEANS something to you. Ideas are things like:-
* – I make these calls because I really believe that my product or service will make a difference to the person I am calling.
* – I make these calls to create employment and happiness for the people that create/make/produce the product..
* – I make these calls to create happiness for my family and myself through the return that I receive for my effort.
* – etc…..
.. hope you don’t mind the suggestions.
Good Luck, Alex.
this example is for people that are in fear and don’t take actions to get what they want.
but if i am not in fear (i trust in myself),
and i did all the actions necessary,
why i don’t get what i want ?
thank you morty.
robert
Hi Robert,
It all depends on what you want.
If you want peace of mind then doing the occuring process will give you this. If you want to change some part of your environment then you will have to try another way to do that if you didn’t get what you want. If you are more focused on the latter to make yourself feel peace, happiness or contentment then this is going to be difficult. Why? Because we don’t control the universe and life is going to unfold exactly as it is meant to everyday. If you are not getting what you want in this life you need to keep altering your actions until you do. I hope this makes sense. 🙂
Dear Morty,
The video is good – however it does not alwways solve problems. I have been unknowing of your method using the technique for years.
However, in many cases it gets stuck – for example what if the meaning that we are giving to a certain occurence is correct ? What then – ignoring that will deepen the problem and the event will happen again and again.
Just for an example :
My boss gets angry – I feel that he is getting at me and wants to throw me out or wants to put me down. Now according to your method, I should separate the meaning that I give it and throw it out of the window. But what if it is true ?
How do I then remain calm and peaceful ?
Also how do I identify the meaning or rather the reality – if it is behind the back and not on the surface.
Ignoring the meaning or the motive of a person in the actions of a person cannot really be a good idea, can it ?