Below are the steps for Assignment 1.
Think of a recent event and run through the following steps.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below.
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The constant unpleasant feeling I had on a day to day basis and didn't even know was there is gone. I've been dealing with problems during the course and finding solutions for them much faster. And, more important, the course is designed in a way that, if you follow all of Morty's instructions and do all the assignments as they are given, you won't need a technique in the end, this will just be the new way you go through life, being present and aware of reality and dealing with what happens in a much more effective way.
Thank you Morty!
—Mario Califfa
Shelly,
I used to feel afraid about so many things and would procrastinate endlessly. Since doing the Lefkoe Freedom Course I am so much calmer and can handle my tasks without attaching any conditions about my self worth to them.
Neelima
Pune, India
I feel so very grateful to Morty and Shelly for creating the Lefkoe Freedom Course. It has allowed me to free myself of the negative feelings that may come from the inner dialogue in my mind. It has helped me to understand that I am the Creator of my world by the meaning I give to the events that happen around me. The course has provided me with very practical tools and techniques to deal with life on a daily basis, especially my interactions with other people. It truly has been an amazing blessing for my life!
Eleanor Ng
Kirkland Lake, Ontario, Canada
I can confirm the method is working, although I only managed to complete it after managing to get past a big (or so I perceived it 🙂 mental block. It’s so simple yet so effective ! The problem I had was not with the exercise, which is working perfectly, but with actually having to apply it. The exercise made me realize that my problem wasn’t that I didn’t have the tools, but that I kept operating from a “why can’t I do this ? / what is stopping me?” perspective, meaning I would always search for why I couldn’t improve. Well…your exercise, Morty, had left me red handed with this reality, I came to realize I wasn’t using my mind at all to improve myself, I haven’t even given myself a chance… Thank you !
And yes, I finally managed to chose a belief, it was about someone that came to see the place I’m renting, and the meaning I gave it was that he must be the new tenant. All dissolved now ! 🙂
Annoyance when my husband tells me what or how to something, particularly when I’m already doing it.
The meaning I assign is that he thinks me incapable or can’t trust me to figure it out myself. Lack of respect.
I could see it differently. It’s part of his nature & has nothing to do with me. He’s thinking out loud, talking without thinking.
His “command” is not a trigger for annoyance.
Step1: Feeling frustration and anger towards billing issues and support people of company xyz.
Step2: Support people don’t really care about solving the problem. Company xyz only cares about my money. I’m being taken advantage of. I don’t have enough money in my accounts..if I did, this issue would have never happened in the first place.
Step3: The account was not activated as support person x informed me. I do not know the level of access they have in altering billing in the way I’m asking. I have had payments fail in the past. My anger and frustration directed at who I’m interacting with over the issue is more indicative of being unsatisfied with my current finances and living month to month.
Step4: Yes, I notice some ease and my thoughts redirected towards attaining the big picture solution and less on this recurring issue.
Hello: I recently, received news that I was now disqualified to attend an event that I have been going too, for over 20 years. I felt Angry, insulted, singled out for unknown reasons. Hurt. I isolated these feelings. Then imagined, other scenarios. Maybe I can still attend as somebody else guest. Perhaps, I can talk to somebody in charge and change their mine. Or at least find an answer. This could also be a kick in the rear to force change on myself. maybe I’ve been in a rut.
It didn’t happen instantly for me, as I had to go back and reinforce the alternative thinking. But my feelings have diminished to the point were I can now take action on my new alternatives.
I felt a sense of failure and rejection because I thought, “my Kickstarter didn’t succeed and that means people don’t care about me or my product.” Then I told myself, “the event that happened happened was that my Spells Tea Kickstarter didn’t make enough money. The meaning I gave it was that people don’t care about me or Spells Tea, but there is no real connection between the event and the meaning.” The negative feeling completely dissolved and I felt light and happy. Thanks Morty!
I have a challenging legal problem that I’m facing in a couple of days. I noticed that I was assigning meaning to the judge’s orders and other party’s behavior as well as the entire event as if its importance was paramount in my life. The events will just happen. What they mean is my decision. Very empowering.
testing the system
testing the system again to see if commenting is fixed
testing the system to see if commenting is working
Yes the FM worked. i did as instructed. thanks
Yes. The method worked. not only did feeling dissolve alternative interpretation popped up.
Ellis
Yes. the method worked. not only did feeling dissolve, alternative interpretation popped up.
I feel intimidated and incompetent when I have to speak in front of a group of people. I go to meetings with my mind set that I’m not as good as my peers. My speeches are short and to the point while my peers like to talk and do a phenomenal job. I recognize we are different and although I want to be like them, I can’t make it happen. I would love to be able to speak without fear of failure.
Some friends went out to dinner without inviting me. I felt left out. The meaning I assigned to the event was that I am not worthy of being remembered. After distinguishing between the event and the meaning, the meaning has completely dissolved.
I was a little ressented that the receptionist of the place I’m working now didn’t seem to give me much attention when I said goodbye to her last Friday. It occurred to me she didn’t like me much, although it then became obvious that this was only an interpretation of her behave. She could possibly be also quite busy and focused at her work at that moment, and that possibility made me feel calmer.
I felt a bit ressented because when I was leaving the company where I’m working now, I said goodbye to the receptionist, but she didn’t even look at me and didn’t really answer with much thoughtfulness. Then I realized that all I saw was that she said goodbye without giving much attention to it, maybe because she was really focused at the work she was doing in front of the computer. It made me feel calmer, specially because I know that I too can do this sometimes, even with people that I love.
Hi Morty, my daughter corrected me and was supported by my husband. I felt left alone, lonely. The meaning was not in the event. I seperated them. And the feeling left.
Thanks
Hi Morty, my daughter corrected me and my husband was assisting her. I felt left alone, lonely. The meaning was not in the event. I separated them and the feeling left.
Thanks
Hi Morty, my daughter corrected me And my husband was assisting her. I felt left alone, lonely. Type thought was not type gevent. I separated hem And the feeling left.
Thanks
Task at work that a colleauge did not give me on time. I felt angry. that he didn’t think it was as imortant that i did, i felt ignored. The event in reality is that he had to priorotise other work and our worknis not suited for him.
I have used Callahan’s Thought Therapy, have CD’s from Carrington, Dr. Mercola and Gary Craig and books by Oertner and Dyer and others “Tapping Cure” Yes it works, takes patience though. And practice, knowing what the deep underlying problems are ( I feel anxious ….I had an experience like this once and passes out, etc). OK. Rich Schultz
My results are successful because I was worrying about something that I was dreaming up, that had nothing to do with the actual event, & now, after distinguishing the meaning, it is just a neutral feeling. Thank You!
1. Anxiety
2. I won’t be able to get all the things done for work. I’ll fail. It’ll be the end of the world. I’ll be a slacker if I don’t do them.
3. I have a list of things that I can choose to do if I want.
4. A little better. This one is a little harder to dissolve. It seems to be a pattern that keeps coming up again and again. “Gotta do something. Can’t do it. Can’t relax because I should be doing stuff for work.” I want to be free to feel lazy every once in a while, but end up feeling guilty.
Love your work. Finished the Natural Confidence. I’m a different person! Thanks.
1. Anxiety
2. I won’t be able to get all the things done for work. I’ll fail. It’ll be the end of the world. I’ll be a slacker if I don’t do them.
3. I have a list of things that I can choose to do if I want.
4. A little better. This one is a little harder to dissolve. It seems to be a pattern that keeps coming up again and again. “Gotta do something. Can’t do it. Can’t relax because I should be doing stuff for work.” I want to be free to feel lazy every once in a while, but end up feeling guilty.
Event: Roommate left dirty dishes in the sink for two days. Meaning: Roommate does not respect the other people in the home.
Meaning is self created and has nothing to do with the event. Multiple meanings can be made from this event.
Alternate meaning. Roommate had other things on his mind and is not used doing his own dishes.
Feeling changed. Anger at roommate gone.
Emotions released when first meaning no longer valid. Asked Roommate to do his dishes. He said he was sorry and washed them right away.
Roommate leaves dirty dishes in the sink. Meaning: Roommate is a slob. Meaning I deserve to live in a clean house. Meaning: Why should I have to clean up other peoples messes. Event: Dirty dishes in sink. Meaning: Roommate is a slob.
Different meaning- Dirty dishes have nothing to do with my well being in life. I have the option to wash them and clean them myself. It is the meaning that I created myself that caused me to be unhappy. Not the actual event. My roommate did not cause my unhappiness or the event. It was only the meaning that I created the feelings.
New meaning: wash the dishes or just leave them on his bed. Simple!
great video and information, thank you morty
i have now some zero income cause i have problem with leading myself to do regular action. I am afraid of responsibility and undreedom which can be caused by the action, i am afraid of making mistakes from the same reason and beeing abnormal depended by what other people think… i can conscionusness dissolve this meaning when i think or analyze that… But there appear always something new, unknown when i did this. My brain always thinks out new threat and there i have to look for another solutions and like this again and again. What now i think is that i am missing action thats why it is changing very slow to better state. So i am going to try your simple steps with action even my brain advices me to stop and think, analyze… and use the same technique than before… because without action thinking and analyzing looses sense, thank you. This writing is only for you and is personal 🙂 to please you that you are doing great work.
great video and information, thank you morty
i have now some zero income cause i have problem with leading myself to do regular action. Feeling is i am afraid of responsibility and undreedom which can be caused by the action, i am afraid of making mistakes from the same reason and beeing abnormal depended by what other people think… after this i can conscionusness dissolve this meaning when i think or analyze that… But there was always something new, unknown when i did this. My brain always thinks out new threat and there i have to look for another solutions and like this again and again. What now i think is that i am missing action thats why it is changing very slow to better state. So i am going to try your simple steps with action even my brain advices me to stop and think, analyze… and use the same technique than before… thank you. This writing is only for you and is personal 🙂 to please you that you are doing great work.
My boyfriend demands that I add him to my FB and he wants something always.
1. emotion – I am upset that he does not understand that is something privat and I don”t want to add him/repulsion too
2. meaning – he want to control me ,he want s to know everything I am doing
3.Yes. He is upset and he is giving me that information.
Recent event: my friend, whom I grew really fond of, told me that in the next few days he will be very busy and might not be able to help me organizing my renovation but he would be more available next week…
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having:
all of a sudden I felt rejected, unloved – considered him careless and not interested in me anymore….
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling: He doesn’t want to help me anymore, I bothered him too much recently, I overstretched his generosity, I am not worth his time and energy….
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events: He just told me his schedule…. that he is busy and more available next week
4. Notice how the feeling has changed: The feeling changed from feeling rejected into relief:
He wanted just to let me know that he is busy this week to prevent that he has to say no to me when I would ask for help this week – but next week would be ok…
Recent event: my friend, whom I grew found of, told me that in the next few days he will be very busy and might not be able to help me organizing my renovation but he would be more available next week…
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having:
all of a sudden I felt rejected, unloved – considered him careless and not interested in me anymore….
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling: He doesn’t want to help me anymore, I bothered him too much recently, I overstretched his generosity, I am not worth his time and energy….
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events: He just told me his schedule…. that he is busy and more available next week
4. Notice how the feeling has changed: The feeling changed from feeling rejected into relief:
He wanted just to let me know that he is busy this week to prevent that he has to say no to me when I would ask for help this week – but next week would be ok…
I noticed I was feeling frustrated and stressed when a job I gave an employee to do wasn’t done to standard. The meaning I was creating in my mind was that they were disrespecting and taking advantage of me. When I realized this was just the meaning I was giving the situation and that the reality could be any number of reasons I felt the stress dissolve.
It helps to clarify my mind and to see that the meaning I give the event leads me to unnecessarily true conclusions. The event may have other possible outcomes, no necessarily all bad, so it helps to have a more balanced and “objective” perspective of the event.
It helps to clarify my mind and to see that the meaning I give the event leads me to unnecessarily true conclusions. The event may have other possible outcomes, no necessarily all bad, so it helps to that are not necessarily the only possible outcome of the event. It helps to have a more balanced perspective of the event.
I tried this on a work situation in which I’m being required to do something that is very time consuming in which I think is a waste of my time. The feeling is anger. The meaning is that this is demeaning to have to do something that isn’t that significant: I’m powerless to effect this and I feel demeaned. I imagined the mental representation of the event and then said the belief words to myself noting that the event is the event and the words I’m saying are only in my mind. The stress/anger went away.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
I’m desperate because of not being able to concentrate on anything longer than 10 min. I have challenges at work which open up great opportunities for me but I just can’t learn, can’t get motivated/interested/focused. I see time passing by with no results that are expected from at work. I don’t know what to do and how to explain it at work. I’m very disappointed and discourage by myself.
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
I’m not trustworthy
I don’t believe in myself, don’t trust myself. because no matter what I do I never reach the end/the result.
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
I’m not trustworthy- meaning. I’m not producing at work. No expected result at work. I’m getting money for doing nothing.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed
Some constructive ideas came to my mind like “I will take some time off. ” But still negative thinking wins over them. Worries about being incapable to manage my mind with all the responsibility for kids and my own career, relationships and life.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
I’m desperate because of not being able to concentrate on anything longer than 10 min. I have challenges at work which open up great opportunities for me but I just can’t learn, can’t get motivated/interested/focused. I see time passing by with no results that are expected from at work. I don’t know what to do and how to explain it at work. I’m very disappointed and discourage by myself.
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
I’m not trustworthy
I don’t believe in myself, don’t trust myself. because no matter what I do I never reach the end/the result.
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
I’m not trustworthy- meaning. I’m not producing at work. No expected result at work. I’m getting money for doing nothing.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed
Some constructive ideas came to my mind like “I will take some time off. ” But still negative thinking wins over them. Worries about being incapable to manage my mind with all the responsibility for kids and my own career, relationships and life.
Thanks!
I believe it can be helpful…
I felt anxious about starting my new job as I had heard that my new boss was a hard task master. I put meaning onto my new boss that she wasn’t going to be friendly, that she would not be supportive and disappointed in my style as I am not competitive and driven. I was deciding how somebody who I hadn’t worked with was going to act rather than accepting her on face value. I now feel that I was being judgmental based on the opinions of others which isn’t fair. I also realise that starting anything new can involve a little nervousness and to accept that its OK and try to think of it as being excited for a new experience.
1. I got angry at being cut off on the freeway.
2. The other driver was being mean and inconsiderate.
3. The action of being cut off had nothing to do with perceiving the other driver as being deliberately mean and inconsiderate.
4. Separating the meaning from the event results in dissipating the feelings of anger.
5. This was successful.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
Anger
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
I thought people attack me
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
I noticed I created the event and assign the meaning to it when the reality is different.
I just misunderstood it
4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
I felt better
5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below.
The results of this exercise is more self awareness and I could see the event for it really is instead of assign the meaning to it.
YES. the process worked. i followed each step as directed. Feeling separate from event and meaning i gave even. feelings dissolved and i described event with calm, peaceful feelings.
1.I feel guilt.
2.the meaning is suppression . I am brought down . Loosing value .
3. the event is blaming me of trying to keep unity . , and not punishing the person . The feeling is feeling inadequate , and not good enough , though really working at my best .
4.The result is that I see that I am sincerely doing my best . I am being myself . Seeing things with my own eyes , and acting upon it . I am enough for my own self if not for others .
1. i’ve clearly identified the event. A discussion with my supervisor. And the statement about my consistency and competence.
2. his statement made me angry.
3. I thought: I have to answer to this jerk even though he dosen’t have the technical skill I have.
4. clear distinction between feeling (angry), meaning (he’s a jerk), the event (what he thought).
5. YES. feeling changed. flat, calm, peaceful. He’s just expressing his evaluation. (unqualified as it is).
1.anger .My negative feeling is anger.
2.They want to suppress me and harm me .
3.the event is slander and backbiting . Lack of care and compassion . The meaning that I’m giving is that is I’m not good enough for their love and compassion .
4. thanks that helps . I see it in a more clear way now . The reason that they are misbehaving has got nothing to do with me . It just manifests how incompetence they are and how helpless they are .
Recent event: my 12 year old lab, Max, whom I dearly love, was not willing to eat & when he did he threw up several times, he also had intermittent diarrhea, is lethargic and some other problems. The vet visit revealed extremely high liver and gall bladder enzymes, and the vet thinks that she may be able to feel his liver is inflamed.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having: fear & sorrow
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling. Max may have cancer or other systemic health issues that can’t be healed.
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events: The events and the vet’s assessment are simply the facts. I realize I do have access to really good alternative health care practitioners and I can connect with my instinct or inner guidance to recognize the best way to help him heal.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed: The feeling changed from fear to being grateful that I have other avenues to help him, which is empowering; fear prevents action, it can be paralyzing.
Not that I see the difference between what was said to me and how it occurred to me, I realize that I was creating anxiety in my mind and not responding to the situation appropriately. I got angry and made the other person feel bad when it was never their intention to upset me. Next time I feel a negative emotion, I will first consider if I am misinterpreting the meaning of what is being said to me.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
>>I seem to be in a recurring state of panic.
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
>>Taking your process a bit deeper, I looked at my whole life, rather than a specific incident. It seems that I have ingested the belief that “The world is not a safe place.”
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
>> My life certainly is proof of the opposite. So what is the value of holding onto this mistaken belief? Who would I be without it?
4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
>> While not completely free in three minutes, I did take a sigh of relief.
5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below.
>>I am so grateful that I identified this core belief so I can dissolve it and replace it with my motto “The Universe Works.” I guess I should add, “The Universe is a friendly place.” Thanks, Morty. I love you, Joanna
I got an email saying I wasn’t accepted for a job I had applied and interviewed for and was excited about. I became sad, disappointed, frustrated, and began to lose confidence. I realize now that the email didn’t cause those feelings, the meaning of “I’m not good enough for a job like this” was causing my negative emotions. I felt better making this distinction and just now I received another email where I got a referral to an even better job thanks to the person I interviewed with! They really did think highly of me, I just wasn’t a good fit for other reasons.
I see that I assigned a meaning to the event and can now take back my power through interpreting this differently.
I see I assigned a meaning to the event of unfairness and cruelty to others involved. I saw myself as a victim and they as the perpertrator. I see this is a recurring event in my life. this helps me to separate out the event from the emotions I assigned to them. I am still working on this as it is new.