Below are the steps for Assignment 1.
Think of a recent event and run through the following steps.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having.
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling.
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed.
5. Post your results of this exercise whether you think it was successful or not below.
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The constant unpleasant feeling I had on a day to day basis and didn't even know was there is gone. I've been dealing with problems during the course and finding solutions for them much faster. And, more important, the course is designed in a way that, if you follow all of Morty's instructions and do all the assignments as they are given, you won't need a technique in the end, this will just be the new way you go through life, being present and aware of reality and dealing with what happens in a much more effective way.
Thank you Morty!
—Mario Califfa
Shelly,
I used to feel afraid about so many things and would procrastinate endlessly. Since doing the Lefkoe Freedom Course I am so much calmer and can handle my tasks without attaching any conditions about my self worth to them.
Neelima
Pune, India
I feel so very grateful to Morty and Shelly for creating the Lefkoe Freedom Course. It has allowed me to free myself of the negative feelings that may come from the inner dialogue in my mind. It has helped me to understand that I am the Creator of my world by the meaning I give to the events that happen around me. The course has provided me with very practical tools and techniques to deal with life on a daily basis, especially my interactions with other people. It truly has been an amazing blessing for my life!
Eleanor Ng
Kirkland Lake, Ontario, Canada
Notice: I have a good friend who is in a financial tail spin and barely has any time for human connection as she works 80-110 hours a week to pay for all the material objects (toys) she buys and never has time to use, let alone spend any quality time as a friend, but is too proud and independent to ask for help and responds with defensiveness when I have offered help.
Meaning: I feel frustrated that she cannot see the bigger picture when I can as I have lived through financial hardship and survived, I just want to share my tips and tricks and see her not suffer
Distinguish between the Meaning and the Events:
She is her own person and can make her own choices right/wrong. I can offer my help but ultimately it’s up to her to accept. If I feel like I am not getting enough out of the friendship due to the amount of quality time that I would like to have then I need to seek a closer friendship elsewhere with other friends and not put that expectation on her.
Notice how the feeling has changed:
I feel more free and happier as I can accept that she cannot give me what I need for the friendship I am seeking and that this is OK and that I can focus on the friends who do want to have more real time connection.
Thank you for the powerful exercise!:)))
The occuring feeling I have is anxiety which happens when I haven’t talked to my boyfriend for long periods of time while he’s away travelling. In my mind I assume that he doesn’t care about me or that he’s out with other girls. In actuality, he is only there for a very short time and is extremely busy. I know in my heart he’s just working and I just miss him.
RESULTS: My anxiety goes away when I realize I made up the story and gave it meaning.
Melissa,
Sounds like you got a great result.
I followed the instructions. Yes, once I clearly distinguished between the event and the meaning I gave the event, the feeling started dissolving and disappeared.
Ellis,
Glad it worked for you 🙂
I like a lot the logic of this technic which I feel is a sort of super spot on psychotherapy.
I tried on a rather banal situation and I would say that it worked. It is a subtle shift but I see where it can lead to. It does feel as if thaws technics would lead to freedom. Very exciting!
Looking forward to more!
Notice: anxiety after having to miss work again because of sick kids
Meaning: a mix of I am not reliable, I cannot organize my stuff,and it is right so: I have the right to miss.
Distinguishing: what is is me not being able to go on Wednesday to work and no feedback on this point by my bosses.
Magic: Feelings disappear.
Through doing the process, I gained an understanding of what had happened and what my patterned behavior is doing to me…event, errant meaning, hurt feelings, anger, quiet and mad. When I realized what I was doing unconsciously, I was able to dissolve the anger and realize the true intent of the event.
I nearly almost always have this constant feeling of being wrong. Of doing it al wrong, That I’m just not good enough and it may be too hard so I wont bother. I noticed the meanings were several all in together. Fear of failure, I am not capable of doing hard complicated things, I should leave the hard things to other wiser and more intelligent than me, I am simple, I am stupid, I am tired, all these were hidden around each other when I started to really look a lot.
So as I sat and ran through each meaning I had given past events I could distinguish between what reality was and what I had said to myself about reality. Yes as I did this the meaning changed the sensations changed, my heart my chest became full and lighter. It no longer bothered me to say the above statements.
I feel so empty now. Free. and quiet.
Thanks Morty and SHelly
Feeling – I have a mixed feeling of putting off things to do later. Happy not to do now. Guilty of putting it off to do later.
Meaning – I would loose my free(lazy) time. Its just not that critical to do now.
Event – When i think of – Ironing of clothes, DMV renewal, House Rent Renewal., Car Wash.All these are pending seperate activities. The event by itself is simple, small, plain activities. I realize a whole lot of chaos, due to my meaning creation, that there is a lot of emotional drain to do all this.
Change – The events as such is now out of the scope of my mind. I see them as outside of me. However, I very clearly see some mess created in my way of associating it in my mind. I see the mess, but not sorted instantly. However, I feeel freee, that the events are not bothering me anymore.
My daughter is demonstrating aggressive behavior and hits me.
This made me very angry because the meaning I gave to that event is that she doesn’t respect and love me.
I now realize that she was just tired and hungry.
As soon as I realized the meaning I gave wasn’t necessarily true – I didn’t take her anger and aggressive actions personally.
Ten days ago I found the Lefkoe Institute, & about 4am I took the free offer to remove my belief that “mistakes are bad”. After my virtual session with Morty, I felt a change, a lightness, something had shifted. I slept a couple hours after that & woke up light and invorated. The whole day I was happy, noticing that I was not reacting negatively to many instances where I normally would. And I couldn’t wait to continue courses with Morty. After about four days of a natural positive insights, with further invesigation into Morty & his work, I learned of his passing last November. I was crestfallen, feeling robbed of a teacher who provided a method that finally gave me a breakthrough that no one could take from me. For about a week now I’ve been slipping down into depression, being too distracted even to complete this first exercise that Shelly sent to me. Happily I’ve completed it tonight! Today I was feeling super depresse at work…
1) Notice – gripped with fear & depressed at being stuck in the same work.
2) Identify – Thinking my daily affirmations & positive self talk aren’t working as I walk up the steps to my work.
3) Discover – I would never find the path back to the self healing / happiness I’d discovered, in order to take action on my dreams.
4) Distinguish – Being in my current place is not ‘bad’, the meaning I give it feels ‘bad’. These ARE separate.
5) Results – It worked again! It just needs ‘doing’ to dig out all my psychological landmines.
Searching how to banish fear for so many years, I believe I’ve now found it. Thank you Morty! Your impact on this world will grow many fold through time. Moved by your living example I will be continuing to believe in myself, despite appearances & occurings.
Exercise was easy to go through and follow. Executed each step on felt the anxiety fall away. Now I have a clear cut path of actions to take, remedying the situation. It is easy and outcome almost immediate for me.
1. Anger towards husband for forgetting to take the water sample for testing today.
2. Now I will have to worry about the water being contaminated until Tuesday. Hard to prepare food and drink with peace of mind until Wednesday when the results will be in.
3. I am having trouble distinguishing the two as they are directly related and I have to pay the price.
4. Feeling is subsiding but I still have to worry and take extra time and precautions.
5. I don’t think this was successful in this case. Please let me know if I am missing something. Thank you.
1 I am feeling ashamed.
2 I think I made a fool of myself and people won’t trust me anymore knowing that I overreact when I disagree
3 People weren’t convinced by my position and I left is different from they won’t trust me anymore.
4 the feeling has changed from ashamed to overwhelmed : I now think I should act differently in the future and I am worried I am not able to do so.
Prut
please confirm you received my response,,,,my computer just did something weird and It took some time to write it…thanks
John,
We did get your response. Thanks for taking the time to do the assignment.
I am a subcontractor and an owner rep. accused me suggesting that I was nickle and diming (which i dont do). He got angry , abrasive and blaming. At the moment I just clenched and made certain I didn’t react but when I left i felt gutted and was cursing him. All I could think was I am no a no-good, not good enough and I got angry and felt like a caged animal. I held on to this feeling for a good week (actually it was a bad week) and was dominated by it, Eventually I asked myself “what was happening….but only after alot of soul searching. I started to see that he was in pain and I had picked up his energy and I was triggered and making up all kinds of stories. However i didn’t feel clear enough about it all…I am a poet and wrote a poem about forgiveness . I wish i had known about your method…had that clarity about what to do as I walked away from that meeting with him…it would have saved alot of grief. After going through your process i felt and enormous release, calmness, and certainty that I could witness his anger on the one hand (his trip) , and hold that fire on with the other hand ( stay aware/awake).. such a gift to know what to do when the lightening of another strikes…and not to lose grip on myself. Thankyou so much! I am going to use with with my very anxious daughter…what a gift.
1. OVERWHELMED FOR SOME WORK I NEEDED TO DO.
2. HAD A CONVERSATON WITH MY PARTNER ABOUT GETTING THIS WORK DONE.
3. IS TOO MUCH AND DIFFICULT TO PUT ALL THIS INFORMATION TOGETHER.
4. EVENT. THE WORK NEEDED TO BE DONE. MEANING: WAS DIFFICULT.
5. SITTED FOR 4 HOURS WITH THE INTERESTED PARTIES AND COMPLETED MOST OF THE WORK. MY INTERPRETATION OF “DIFFICULT” WAS CREATING THE PROBLEM.
1. Anger and annoyance after a discussion.
2. The rejection of my idea felt like an attack directly on me.
3. There was no atrack on me, it was just someone having there own viewpoint and opinion.
4. The anger dissolved inside of me leaving a lighter sensation.
5. Successful use of process.
I have two examples because the first example didn’t work fully for me, however, it did lessen the feelings I was feeling. The second example worked! Yay!
My example #1:
1. Negative feelings: Anger, Disrespected, Resentment
2. The event: My boss/friend walked out of the conference room curtly telling me to “forget it” and she wouldn’t tell me the last bit of information she was communicating to me. I said to her that she could tell me while I was transitioning to another spot in the conference room for the next meeting. She said to me in a curt tone, “No too late, forget it, your computer is closed.” I urged her to tell me one more time and she said, “No,” and walked out.
3. The meaning: She is rude to not finish her thought and to talk to me that way.
4. Distinguish the event from the meaning: The facts of what happened is that “boss person” was telling me to forget about what she was going to tell me, she refused to tell me when I urged her to, and she walked out the door.
5. Result: The feeling of anger diminished, however, the resentment still continued to linger.
6. Another thought came to mind: “She shouldn’t treat me that way when I patiently wait for her when she gets distracted.”
7. Distinguish the meaning from the event: My mind is putting meaning on “boss lady’s” actions. All that really happened was that she said to forget about what she was going to tell me and walked out of the room after I urged her to tell me.
8. Result: Still a lingering resentment towards boss lady.
My example #2:
1. Negative feeling: Anxiety
2. The event: I was sick the day before and during dinner out with a friend I noticed my body got cold during dinner, throat was sore, and muscles were achy.
3. The meaning: I won’t be able to get warm enough, fast enough. I am so cold, I probably gave myself a relapse.
4. The event: All that is happening is my body is experiencing sensations of cold, sore, and achy. My body is simply experiencing sensations.
5. Result: The anxiety disappeared and the chatter about how I wouldn’t be able to warm up subsided enough to let me do what I needed to do in order to get warm.
1. Notice: I have a very strong feeling of anxiety
2. Identify: waiting for the test results after my second probation week at work
3. Discover: uncertainty, fear of failure – what if I have the worse result in the group? What will my colleagues feel about me? I am not capable, weak. I can not talk with them at the same level…..
4. Distinguish: The anxiety invaded my body and I felt unbearable to stay still on my chair. Then I started to separate the event (test results) and the meaning I gave to it – worthiness. At the end of the day, a test is not changing my true identity. Besides, I am pretty sure I answered correctly all the answers, and it was obvious at this point that the event (results) and the meaning (not good enough, fear of failure) were SO different.
5. Evaluate: I felt relief and easily I “came back” to my senses – I was able to start listening and interacting with my colleagues, laughing and before I went for my one to one with my manager to find the results, I was feeling joyful. The most amazing part is that I managed to feel good just before finding out the results! (the results were as I expected – 24/25 answered:) Thank You!
The feeling was extreme anger when my husband did a series of bad decisions that cost a lot of money. The meaning I attached to this was total disrespect and disreguard for my opinion. It meant I had no value as a person, much less his wife of 43 years.
If I didn’t attatch the meaning with the occurring event, I would not have had to go through the terrible upset. This is going to take practice!!
1) Negative feeling: I have so many defects.
2) Meaning: I am not good enough and never will be. I am unacceptable and unlovable. I will not find the right partner.
3) Distinguish: While I do have many personal challenges, it does not mean that I am not making major improvements or becoming empowered, and it does not mean that no one will ever love me and accept me as I am (even without a major overhaul!). I have many good qualities and values. People like me and I have many wonderful friends and close, loving relationships.
4) Change of feeling: In accepting myself unconditionally, I allow others to do the same.
5) Success! Thank you!
1. I am feeling rejected by my own sister due to her conduct with me
2. I am giving it a menaing that I am not well appreciated, even though I have done many positive things for her
3. The event is she actually behaving according to her internal issues, the meaning is not real.
4. I feel more relaxed and better self esteem
5. Could say the result was positive.
1. I am feeling rejected by my own sister
2. I am giving it a menaing that I am not well appreciated, even though I have done many positive things for her
3. The event is she actually behaving according to her internal issues, the meaning is not real.
4. I feel more relaxed and better self esteem
5. Couls say the result was positive.
I have been using the LFT since I received the free introduction (thank you). I have used it on a number of childhood and business issues which have come up and have found it to be very helpful in alleviating the intensity of the emotions/feelings, creating a distance between my witnessing self and the problem, and creating a sense of spaciousness. In other words, it provides the results that are normally evident in a successful meditation technique. While I cannot say that I have achieved 100% success on the issues to which the LFT has been applied, it has provided a means to create the spaciousness where real healing can occur. Thank you.
1) Notice the feeling: Frustration with my daughter
2) Notice the Meaning: She just wants attention
3) Distinguish: Wanting attention is my meaning, events are: half an hour of crying about not liking dinner
4) Notice change: she is giving the experience her own meaning, my meaning melts into patient compassion
5) Successful.
I recently felt very upset when both my brothers forgot my birthday. The meaning I was giving to this was I’m not important to them, I’m not enough. I always remember their birthdays, and this was a “big” one, so I was expecting them to at least send a card, or make a phone call.
It made me feel like I’m not good enough ( a feeling I’ve had many times in my life).
The event was: my brothers forgot my birthday.
The meaning I gave this was: I’m not good enough; I’m not important.
I can see that there could easily be several other meanings – they are forgetful, but they love me – I am important to them, they just don’t set the same importance to birthdays that I do.
The upset feeling has diminished – not gone away completely, but gone down a lot.
Thank you Shelly and Morty for this wonderful process.
Think of a recent event and run through the following steps: The event – someone at work may be trying to sabotage me by implying that I’m not doing all of my job.
1. Notice the negative feeling you are having: Negative Feeling – Anger and anxiety
2. Notice the meaning that is producing the feeling: He should not be lying about me. I’m really doing far beyond what is expected. This is unfair. People might believe him and I could lose my job. Everything seems to be out of control.
3. Distinguish between the meaning and the events: The person may or may not actually be doing this. Someone just told me a rumor. If all of the things happened it would have no meaning, just consequences for be to address.
4. Notice how the feeling has changed: I noticed that the meaning dissolved and the feelings became very calm.
I had this anger feeling on a friend she wrote some unpleasant, accusatory things about me I didn’t agree with. The meaning I found was that she’d been using me whenever she needed and now, when she doesn’t need me anymore (she’s more relaxed and in a safer job) she cannot see life from my position (I no longer have regular earnings) and expects me to be as ‘zen’ as she is. The events were that she wrote things I found them either untrue or not so horrible – obviously, we have different reference frameworks – and different from the meaning.
But I still don’t know what to do with my findings now… 😀
I walked into the room and my husband made a comment with a tone of voice that totally threw me off guard, it was totally unexpected.
1) feeling attacked for walking in the room.
2) I don’t deserve to be treated that way.
3) Only the meaning I am giving it.
4) I doesn’t mean anything
I was able to see that my initial response was due to a feeling of not being respected and having unwarranted attitude directed towards me. I also asked my husband what was going on?
Once I realized I gave meaning to something that wasn’t true, the feeling dissipated.
Recently, a man on a wheelchair asked me to help him open a wheelchair lift. He sounded very commanding and raised his voice when giving me instructions. Even after I’ve successfully assisted him, he kept commenting about how simple the instruction was in a very stern and condescending manner.
I felt he was rude because of his attitude. He never said please and he never said thank you when I was done. Rather, he discredited me for failure to follow simple instructions. I wasn’t obligated to assist him. I was only doing him a favor. Yet no appreciation whatsoever. I felt disrespected and unappreciated.
I have negative feelings about the incident whenever I think about it. However, after doing the exercise, my feelings have changed. I now have a different perspective about the event. Thank you so much!
Notice: had a run in with my sister comments about me.
I felt mad ( meaning I was giving it) – she was wrong!!
I know distinguished the ( event) from the meaning.
Once I distinguished the two the feeling disappeared.
Step 1: Feeling disappointed
Step 2: left out
Step 3: fear is what cause it,the event was not bad but fear interferes
Step 4: it changed and is very clear that it is fear which is the issue.
Step 5:Results: It hasn’t change yet but got clarity that it is a fear from the other party which came on the way.
I was angry as my wife was “ignoring me” when she came home tired from work a few nights in a row and went straight to bed. I gave the meaning that she wasn’t loving me now as she should. I realized this was the meaning I gave it and not the event. There was also many other meaning it could be. I no longer feel angry and feel much more at peace and calm.
1. Negative feeling – guilt
2. Event – ate animal product
3. Meaning assigned – I’m weak and self-destructive
4. Distinguish between event – I ate breakfast, and the meaning I assigned – I am weak and self-destructive.
5. Evaluate results – feeling marginally better. I am a work in process.
making the distinguish about when my ex wife says things to hurt me that the hurt I feel is that I but the meaning of I am alone and not loved.
Tonight for the first time I feel I am not alone or loved as I only made it up in my head wow.., I realised I have good family and friends that love me just as much as I love them and that having them I will never be alone. Thank you for such a big awakening. Love to you.
Cheers Eoin
what should you learn me through your course
My young son was demonstrating aggressive behavior and lashing out and hitting me.
This made me very angry because the meaning I gave to that event is that my son doesn’t respect or love me.
I hadn’t considered until now that perhaps he was just tired or hungry or having an emotional day.
As soon as I realized the meaning I gave wasn’t necessarily true – I didn’t take his anger and aggressive actions personally.
I think this process is amazing! I’ve been struggling with this for such a long time, I feel like I now have the tools to stop projecting meaning onto my son’s actions and just let him ride through his emotions without adding drama to the event (which of course only makes him more emotional!).
I procrastinate and feel overwhelmed by clutter. My house is a mess, and I’ve always been messy as a child and even at workplaces. The feeling that stunts my motivation to change is, “I’ll never finish so why even start?”
After watching the first video I separated the inherent meaning (“I’ll never finish”) from the actual moment (“Clean this particular mess in front of me.”) I immediately went to grab some trash bags only to find that we had tun out of them! So I looked for any kind of grocery bag or box that I could use and just got to work. Then I just started doing laundry while listening to the next two videos!
Thank you so much! I have grown so much from the confidence course and cannot thank you enough for what it has done for me! I am a transformative speaker and want to attend this training to not only grow myself but also help others. Thanks!
Good stuff
The excersize was successful. I love this barebones approach, it’s so effective.
1) Fear
2) She doesn’t like me. She probably never wants to see me again.
3) No text yet – but she’s probably sleeping, or just busy.
4) I felt pretty happy afterward.
seemed like a success to me.
I have a repetitive fear of taking risks. The process freed me to dissolve the meaning I was giving to challenges and improve my results and happiness.
No I didnot get any result,
1. FEELING
Anger and frustration – I asked one of the senior partners at work to review my annual goal plan for the forthcoming year which i am aiming to use to get promoted to the next grade (even that is still two grades below this partner). The partner reviewed my annual goal plan but said that i should scale back the goals and that, although there was “nothing wrong with being ambitious”, the plan i had written would be the sort of plan this partner would be happy with at partner level!
2. MEANING
i never get what i want – i am unappreciated. i am just as good if not better than this partner, i deserve to be at their level, it’s not a question of being ambitious, it is only what i deserve. I am being blocked, they are feeling threatened and don’t want me to get on. Time is running out, i have missed the boat. I’m getting old to be still be at this grade.
3. DISTINGUISH MEANING AND EVENT
this partner took the time to review my goals and give me feedback, they are not my direct boss, so they took the time to mentor me – not block me. They don’t know me that well and haven’t worked with me that much so how do they know what i am capable of? it is not true that i never get what i want – i have had success at work (I won’t list them!). So it is not true that i am not appreciated, i just got assigned to a new prestigious client account. i am making progress. it’s not true that i am being block – the partner gave me an easier goal plan designed to get me to the next grade – that’s still progress. if i want to skip a grade then i will need to operate at that higher level and demonstrate that to the people who make promotion decisions. the process is designed to be fair across all grades and for everyone at the firm. Or, if i truly have the self-belief to fulfil the original stretching goal plan i set myself – i should just do it and aim to skip a grade. Whether i get promoted or not it will be good for me. If i don’t get promoted there, i will have done the work i need to get a job elsewhere. i don’t have to stay there – i can move firms – i have choices and options.
4. i feel calmer, i feel empowered. this definitely helped. thanks.
1) Notice: Feeling like “unbelieved” by people, so I feel kinda defeated, and there’s nothing I can do for changing that;
2) Meaning: Feeling like people do nnot believe my work anymore, like I don’t really amke any difference being there or not (I’m a drummer, and my work is in an emmergent band);
3) Dintinguish between the meaning and events: The event is: My band’s front man always was my friend and was by my side, and suddenly he started to ignore some of my ideas and seems to give them no importance by ignoring them, or even treating me like a work colleague, giving me orders and suddenly disliking part of my work – which was always good. He was suddenly much more near to the other band members and seems to have so much more interest in their work, and so much less interest in mine. The meaning is that this kind of attitude makes me see that he does not like my work anymore, and even I’ve already talked to him about that, seems he doesn’t care much. Seems I have to prove myself to him now everytime, and in every reharsal, so for this, I felt like stuck of producing “naturally”, as I was used to do.
4) Notice how feelings changed: Seems the feeling has not changed so much, just a little more clear that he doesn’t want me in the band anymore.
5)Results: I think the feeling didn’t change because me and him are friends for a long date and his attitudes were sudden. Somehow, sometimes seems I cannot deal with that “lack of credit”, because I cannot “guess” what is in his mind, and I also don’t think that he is the only and one right person about my work – i know some of my drumming lines are pretty good! So I still think, somehow, that there’s nothing I can do about this situation, and that my friend will never believe me anymore. Seems like I’m a “card out of the deck” for my band, suddenly, and for no specific reason. Just because he stopped giving me credit.
I had a run in with my boss yesterday.
My negative feelings – embarrasment that I allowed myself to get pulled into his negative reaction to a situation (I coached myself on this before so I feel like I failed again), anger and annoyance at his attempts to contact me after normal work hours and anxiety over any future discussions to be had concerning the matter
Meaning – he sees me as a slave with no right to have an opinion or diasagree with him openly, he is disrespectful of my time and thinks I must be available whenever he chooses
I am stuggling to dissolve the fusion of meaning and event as I am aware of a strong conviction in my mind that my meaning is reality. Due to this stuggle my feelings have not gone but I am aware that they are less intense.
1. i want to call unknown people and offer them my services but i feel that i can hassle them or interrupt, so i feel fear, maybe anxious
2. i think that it can be not pleasant for them, or they will be agressive, and what consequencies it can follow… And maybe it is not right to call them before i check if they want… Even i know that i am very good person and would never hurt someone…
3. i make a call because i want, maybe i can help them, i can really improve their lives…, i will politely ask, they will choose how to react, they can be unpleasant, agressive… Meaning i used to give was, that if they are unpleasant, it is very baad, and it could make bad unknown consequencies… but the event is only that they express how they feel at the time. Actually they can be unpleasant not because my call but because somethink what they only think about calls from unknown persons or from other reasons…
4. feel slighty changed but there is still what iffs and my brain create other ones
I took some major risks in my life, and they didn’t turn out the way I thought they should. I gave the meaning of “bad or regrettable mistakes” to those risks that left me feeling anxiety. I thought I could have handled things in different ways. I always managed to get back on track after a few months, but the major risks (bad or regrettable mistakes) I took affected my income, relationships and peace of mind. I took the risks because I faced events that felt oppressive, out-dated and unethical to me – just like in the past. I wanted freedom to do what I wanted to do … regardless of potential consequences. I realized the meaning I gave to those events wasn’t other people’s meaning, and the events continued with or without my participation. I changed my perspective and the meaning of my major risks to “breaking free.” That is the choice I made. Regrets, annoyances and self-criticisms are gone. People’s unethical behavior is theirs to live with and for reasons they consciously or unconsciously know. I choose to make wiser “breaking free” decisions now. The exercise was successful. Thanks, Morty!
1. Notice: I have a reoccurring negative feeling of being stuck
2. Identify: It’s often triggered when I’m going to do something positive for myself
3. Discover: “If I do this for myself, then I’ll have to continually do it and I don’t have the time/money/energy to keep doing it”
4. Distinguish: “I always have a choice of what I do and I CHOOSE to do positive things for myself when I want to, as I make time for it, set aside money for it, and create energy to do it.”
5. Evaluate: Yes – the feeling went away. I now feel I have mental clarity with the desire to get stuff done.
Powerful Technique!
Thanks Morty and I’m glad you’ve chosen to feel better! Kick those cancer cells’ butts!
I tried the technique for my anxiety regarding my job as a Salesman. As a Salesman a lot of your actions is prospecting and doing sales. In the last year, I felt a lot of anxiety when I was about doing phones calls, meeting client, going at the office and doing the sales meeting… because a lot of my actions didn’t produce the result that I was expecting.
So before any action I was feeling anxiety and I notice with the technique that the anxiety was coming from my inner conversation. I was telling to myself why doing this it won’t work, you tried before and you did’nt get the results, why wasting your time and energy, I will never achieve my goals.
By using the technique you put everything in perspective and you gain control over your mind. So it help me to stay more relax and be able to focus on my actions, in place of my fears.
Thanks!